I Need a Hero
by Now-You-Dont-Or-Do-You
Summary: Steve Rogers noticed that Maria Hill always kept her distance from him. She always gave him a wide, wary berth, even working with him, probably due to his.. superhero status. She never supported the Avengers anyway, going against Fury on the idea since the beginning. But after being tortured for two weeks straight, Steve seems to be the only person Maria can stand to be around...
1. Prologue

_Okay! So here's an Avengers fan fiction. I enjoy Hillogers, so I've decided to write about them. So as usual, let's get through it: I hope you like it, blah blah blah, leave a review, blah blah *cheesy author voice* enjoy the read! By the way, this story is kind of dark and… bloody.. at first so, if you find that you are queasy around these things, I suggest continuing on with caution._

_Maxine_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or any of their characters, only my own._

_**Prologue**_

**Kiev, Ukraine**

**April 4, 2014 9:25pm**

**Ucky's Bar & Club**

The blonde, blue-eyed SHIELD agent smiled seductively to her reflection in the bathroom mirror as a bit of practice before reaching up and adjusting the small bun of brunette locks under her wig to a more comfortable position.

Another look at herself and an adjustment to her make-up and colored contacts left the agent satisfied and she walked out of the public restroom and back towards the bar of the club, ordering a glass of red wine after sitting down.

"Now where could you be, Gregory..." The woman muttered quietly as she took a sip from her glass while scanning the rather crowded club for her target. It had already been around an hour of sitting and waiting at the bar for him. _Well this is a hell of a lot better than sitting at a desk all day._

The man in question was called, Vince Gregory. A weapons negotiator working with HYDRA, and evil terrorist organization. He had recently been doing more and more deals with African Terrorists who had been working with HYDRA on some government retaliations in Ghana. This of course could only lead to disaster; therefore SHIELD had decided to intervene.

Director Fury had decided that this was a mission for one of his best agents, so he had decided to offer the mission to Lieutenant Maria Hill.

Of course Maria had agreed to the mission immediately, having spent too much time on the Helicarrier doing paperwork lately.

"I trust that you will be careful, Hill," Fury had said, "HYDRA is very careful, and Gregory could be guarded for all we know." He warned.

The lieutenant simply nodded, already knowing that this mission required extreme awareness. "I'll be back before you know it, sir." She had smiled slightly in return.

And now Maria sat smiling shyly at the negotiator from across the room before looking away abruptly and taking a sip of her drink, catching his attention.

She had easily spotted him once he had walked through the door. Fairly young, around 30 or so, cold, emerald eyes and a mass of curly brown hair on his head flopping into his eyes. Not too attractive, decent at least. But the most distinguishing feature on him was his height. The man towered above most of the people in the club, he could have been seen from across a stadium.

Maria ordered another wine and took a long gulp just as the song changed into a slow, intimate one. _Alright, let's get this done. _The 27 year-old snuck a glance over at Gregory, and suddenly found him making his way through the throng of people towards her.

"Hello." Gregory rumbled in a deep, Italian accent as he strode towards the bar. Maria smiled up at him confidently in response, backing away slightly as she caught a whiff of cigarette on his breath. _Gross_

"Hello." Maria replied in a slight Russian accent as she reached up to twirl a golden lock behind her ear.

The HYDRA agent smiled down at Maria, emerald eyes holding nothing but hunger and held his hand out for her, "May I have this dance?"

Maria nodded in response and let Gregory help her off of the stool before following him to the crowded dance floor.

He twirled the woman against his body as they made it to the center of the floor and immediately wrapped his hand low around her hip, smirking arrogantly. _This bastard thinks he's god's gift to women, doesn't he? _Maria resisted the urge to roll her eyes, instead choosing to smile invitingly at the tall man.

"Vince." He murmured into Maria's ear while caressing her waist with his other hand.

"Lillian." The agent whispered back, tugging slightly at the curls on the back of the taller mans neck.

"Beautiful name." Gregory smirked, finally slipping his hand onto her butt as they swayed from side to side. _Ugh_

The two later headed back to the bar and had a few drinks until Gregory suddenly couldn't keep his hands off of Maria. Choosing to caress her waist and legs as they sat together.

"I think we should take this somewhere else." Maria finally whispered seductively into Gregory's ear as she brought more wine up to her lips. They had been dancing on and off at the club for about two hours now bit Maria had begun to feel impatient.

The curly-haired man smirked down at Maria before grabbing onto her hand and leading the small woman out to a sleek black sports car parked out in the clubs parking lot.

The car stood out from all of the rest and had of course attracted many interested men to admire it. They stood around running their hands delicately across the vehicles smooth surface, amazement practically oozing from their lips.

As Maria and Gregory made it to the car, the small group of men whistled and hooted comments towards Gregory on his car and the "sexy dame" he had picked up. _Arrogant bastards_

Maria resisted the urge to shove her foot down their throats and focused her attention on Gregory, slipping into the passenger seat of the car obediently when Gregory opened it for her.

As he accepted the onlookers' comments, Gregory smirked down at Maria through the car window and winked at her.

Later at Gregory's apartment, Maria suddenly went into hyperawareness mode as she was shoved through the door, the taller mans lips smashed onto hers, tasting of wine and cigars. _He might have guards or cameras to protect him, be careful _The Lieutenant thought, shooting her eyes carefully around the shadows.

And suddenly, the Italian pulled back and motioned for Maria to wait before walking into the kitchen and coming back with a bottle of champagne in his hand after a bit of clinking and muttering. Maria peered cautiously into the kitchen, looking for any suspicious signs, but only finding the low glow of Gregory's refrigerator and his shadow in front of it. _Is he muttering to himself?_

The weapon dealer took a large swig of the drink prior to returning and pressed his body onto Maria, easily towering over her smaller frame.

The woman smiled at him with fake excitement as she pressed her hands on his broad chest before being led towards one of the doors that hid a bedroom within. _Hang in there, Hill. Just a little more and you'll be able to slit his throat _Maria thought as she was roughly tossed onto the queen-sized bed at the center of the room.

"Well then, how about we get down to real business… Lieutenant Hill." Maria looked up in surprise as the words slithered out of Gregory's mouth in a cold sneer. _How did he know?! Was this planned? How could I be so stupid?! _The SHIELD commander thought frantically as she backed up against the headboard.

And no sooner were the words spoken, she was pinned down by Gregory's larger body. The all too familiar feeling of a handgun poised at her temple. _What. The. Fuck._

"Hah?" Was all Maria could utter as she stared up in surprise at the HYDRA agent poised over her.

Then her wig was harshly unclipped and ripped off of her head, pulling apart her brunette bun underneath.

"I wouldn't even try to deny anything at this point, _Maria_." Gregory smirked seductively, running his large hands through Maria's hair.

The SHIELD agent flinched away from his touch in disgust, before suddenly rearing up and ramming her knee into Gregory's groin area. _No_

Gregory yelped in pain as he flew forward, hitting his head on the headboard. Maria quickly slipped out from under him and hopped lightly onto her feet at the edge of the bed.

Then the lieutenant reared around again and swung her heel into Gregory's hip, knocking the man onto the ground on the other side.

"You will regret that!" Gregory growled in his accent from the ground before jumping up and wiping blood from his mouth. _If looks could kill _She glared murder towards the man across from her.

Maria scowled and quickly slipped the combat knife out from the secret pocket on her dress with one swift movement, enough to slightly confuse Gregory on its sudden appearance.

And with hesitation, the agent flipped the blade into her fingers and quickly flicked it into the air, sending the blade square into Gregory's shoulder.

"Argh! You little shit!" He snarled ripping the knife from his shoulder and grabbing the forgotten gun from the bed sheets and aiming it at Maria. _Now you're screwed, shouldn't have left your bag in the living room _She thought, remembering her gun was in her bag.

"_Come on and get her you idiot!" _Gregory suddenly shouted in German before Maria suddenly heard thundering footsteps coming from the hallway.

And no sooner had Gregory snarled out the command, in burst a large, burley man through the door, immediately grabbing up Maria into a choke hold against his chest.

"Agh! Don't think I'll hesitate to murder you slowly and painfully!" Maria started to curse as she clawed at the muscular arm that held her tightly.

Gregory smirked then, limping up to the woman and touching the gun onto her chin. "I will shoot you, sweetheart. That I can promise I won't hesitate to do." He threatened calmly.

Maria narrowed her eyes and pressed her chin onto the gun harder. "Go ahead, I'd rather you shoot me." She rasped out in defiance.

Gregory looked at her regretfully then, "But as much as I'd like to shoot your brains out Hill, I have to keep you alive. You've got important information, very secret information on SHIELD in that head of yours. And HYDRA would like it." The tall man tapped his gun on her head before he motioned towards the German guard with a nod of his head.

And not a second later, Maria's neck was slammed on with the butt of her own knife and she was knocked cold.

_*Cheesy squeaky author voice* did you like it!? Leave a review and let me know what you think! Hopefully you liked it! _

_Now I wouldn't expect the next chapter 'till next Friday since I have decided that Friday shall be my update day. _

_Anyway! See you next Friday… But then again, I can't really see you… and you can't really see me… soo… Damn my overly-logical thinking .-._

_Maxine_


	2. Chapter 1

_And the story starts… Steve's in this one don't worry! By the way, if you're wondering about the early update, I decided that I have no patience to wait 'till next Friday, so I'll just post the first three chapters for now and then follow my rule… that I can't seem to follow .-. Enjoy._

_Maxine_

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own the Avengers, only my own characters_

**Undisclosed Location**

**April 7, 2014 5:30pm**

**SHIELD Headquarters**

Agent Remi Knight trudged down the hallway leading towards the HQ Mess Hall, in search of a certain America's Golden Boy. She hoped that the man with the plan could find some sort of solution to her current problem.

"Hey! You seen Captain Rogers around here?" The short woman caught the shoulder of an agent who had been walking out of the mess hall at that moment.

"Oh! Y-yes Agent Knight. He's sitting in there." A slightly fearful expression crossed the male agent's face as he realized who had spoken to him. Remi smirked in amusement as he scurried off down the hall.

Ever since she joined SHIELD, Remi had built a strong reputation as one of the most feared agents around. Of course along with Maria Hill, and Agent Melinda May, Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton.

But in all honesty, Remi was usually a carefree, relaxed woman. Choosing to wear sweaters, jeans and tennis shoes instead of official work suits like everyone else.

The 22 year-old was what Coulson referred to as "the stress relieving bunny", always managing to shake stressing situations off of everyone by telling jokes or stories of funny incidents on missions.

Remi took pride in her relaxed attitude, being more than happy knowing that she was able to dig anyone out of the gutter and make their day.

And right now was no different, it had been three days since Maria Hill was reported missing and everyone had been on edge, wondering whether she was dead or not. Remi had been trying her best to melt the tension around headquarters, even going so far as shooting nerf guns at people from the rafters in the ceiling, jokes attached to every foam bullet.

But in reality, the agent was actually doing all of this to try and distract herself from the problem at hand.

It had been five years since Remi was recruited into SHIELD, at 17 years of age. Maria had been the first person to completely accept her as a great agent and friend. Even making sure that she became Remi's partner. Ever since then, the two had been the closest of friends, going on missions together and climbing their way up the SHIELD levels together.

Now that Maria had gone missing, Remi had been restless and even irritable. Not knowing if her best friend was alive had been eating away at her patience with Director Fury. He hadn't sent anyone out to find Maria yet, and it annoyed the agent how Fury didn't seem to have finding his second in command as a priority.

"Captain Rogers." Remi smiled slightly with a nod as she approached the table where Captain America sat, alone.

"Agent Knight." Steve smiled up at her in greeting, taking a sip of his water and inviting her to sit down. She sat across from him and leaned back in her chair, scrutinizing the man, figuring out how exactly she could word the news to him.

"You've been ogling at Maria for a while." She began in a blunt tone, planning on getting to the point as fast as possible.

Remi looked on with a slight smile, remembering how the Captain had always had an interest in Maria, ever since they had met. She always caught him sneaking glances towards the Deputy Director, always sitting with her at lunch or dinner and even consulting with her on missions and such more than Fury. So of course Remi was confident that Steve could be the one to set off Fury enough for him to send someone out for Maria.

Steve raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly. He shook his head, "Ah, well, I wouldn't… Um, what makes you think that?" She watched as his ears and cheeks took on a pink hue.

"The usual signs," She shrugged with a slight smirk, "staring when she isn't looking, accompanying her to lunch here… a lot. Consulting with her more and more just to be able to talk with her." She smiled her naturally crooked smile fully as Steve hesitated with a reply.

"What's with the sudden interest in my personal feelings?" Steve finally retorted, leaning forward in his chair, staring down at Remi with narrowed eyes.

Remi smiled again and shrugged, "Just been noticing." She stared back at Steve in defiance, daring him to defend himself. "I think you should ask her out."

Steve widened his eyes and let out a long breath, "This is Lieutenant Maria Hill we're talking about here, Remi." He chuckled nervously.

"Plus, she's out on a mission." He added with a smug smile.

"You care about her, right Steve?" Remi asked, a genuinely curious look plastered onto her face.

Steve smiled sheepishly at her, "Well I guess it won't hurt to admit it."

Then he looked over uncertainly, "Right?"

_And this is where it gets complicated _Remi thought, leaning back and scrutinizing the man in front of her again.

And her expression suddenly hardened, her stormy eyes taking on a slightly paler grey.

"You know why everyone's been so tense?" She asked seriously.

Steve shook his head in confusion and furrowed is eyebrows at the question, "Well no, I haven't really been updated much lately. I was actually planning on asking Coulson later."

He seemed to sense something was wrong so Steve scooted closer over the table, listening intently.

The agent took a deep breath before speaking out slowly, mostly for her patience sake.

"It has been three days ever since... Maria Hill was reported missing."

The usually light blue pools staring at her suddenly darkened at that moment and Steve's mouth pressed into a thin white line.

Silence.

"Ukraine Mission?"

"Yes."

"But it was undercover."

"No facts on that."

"What happened?"

"Went after HYDRA weapons negotiator."

"And?"

"Seduction kill."

His jaw clenched.

"And?"

"No further information."

"HYDRA."

"Yes."

Steve stayed quiet after that, suddenly finding his hands very interesting.

Remi leaned back in her chair and looked around to find that lunch had ended and everyone had left to their duties, leaving only Remi and Steve in the Mess Hall.

"And Fury hasn't done anything about it?" Steve finally spoke up, a spark of annoyance evident in his eyes.

Remi shook her head in response, pitching her lips to the side. "Said it's happened before, that she might just be running late."

"She's come back every other time." She continued matter of factly. "But always with some sort of communication beforehand."

The super soldier took one last sip out of his cup before crushing it in his hands and standing up from his chair.

"I'll see you later, Agent Knight." He muttered before strolling out of the Mess Hall, hand still clenching the cup tightly.

_I wonder why Maria kept her distance from him so much, he cares, and so much… even she could see that. _The agent pursed her lips in thought as Steve walked off.

Steve knocked lightly on the grey door that led into a rather large office.

"Come in." Was the curt reply that came from the other side.

"Director Fury." Steve pushed the door open and walked in, greeting the Director with a respectful nod.

"Captain Rogers," The man raised an eyebrow in question, "Is there something wrong?" He straightened out the files he had been working on and pushed them to the side.

Steve pulled out one of the chairs in front of Fury's desk and sat down quickly when Fury motioned for him to sit.

"I'm here to ask you about Maria Hill's absence. Agent Knight just informed me that the lieutenant has been missing for three days." The super soldier spoke bluntly, yet in a respectful tone.

Fury looked over at Steve, narrowing his eyes in slight suspicion before leaning forward on the desk.

"And why is this matter of any importance to you, Rogers? Hill has made it quite clear she wants you at a distance for some time now." The director challenged.

Steve took a deep breath, letting out slowly in order to buy himself some time to think of a reason for coming.

"Things around here already seem to become rickety every time Hill is on a mission. The fact that she's been missing for more than her designated mission time, is a red flag." The super soldier hesitated slightly as he talked.

Fury shook his head and gave Steve a disbelieving look before leaning back in his chair.

"Rogers, this has happened before, with many other agents as well. Hill might have just hit a snag in her original plan. She might just need more time to complete the mission." Fury's voice rumbled in what seemed to be some sort of comforting tone. _Never heard that come from him.._

Luckily Steve had a good retort in mind, "But she would have sent out a message saying she'd be running late. It's happened before with her," Steve narrowed his eyes at Fury, "and with many other agents as well."

Now it was Fury's turn to narrow his eye.

"Alright Rogers, I'll look into it for Agent Knight's and your sake. If Hill doesn't return for another week and a half, I might send out a search party for her." Fury replied with a roll of his eye as he began to pull the files back in front of him.

Steve took this as his cue to leave and stood up, "Thank you, sir." He muttered as he closed the door behind him.

_Please just be running late, Maria._

_Do you like Remi? She ties in with the story, in a rather… interesting way… *Evil laugh* Hope you liked it anyway, chapter three's not so boring .-._

_Maxine_


	3. Chapter 2

_This one's more interesting. Trust me. _

_Maxine_

_Disclaimer: Avengers is not mine _

**Kiev, Ukraine**

**April 11, 2014 12:42am**

**HYDRA Prisoner Base**

_Whamp!_

Maria's head was pitched to the side with a painful crack and she immediately felt blood begin to fill her mouth.

"I suggest you begin talking, Lieutenant Hill." Vince Gregory's low voice filled the interrogation room, purring into her ear.

Maria looked back down at her hands, shackled to the table by handcuffs that had begun to dig into her hands, no doubt close to drawing blood.

"Now let me ask again. What is Phase Two?" The tall man moved around to stand across from her, straightening out some files that lay on the table.

The lieutenant put on a slightly thoughtful expression before leaning forward and spitting her mouthful of blood onto Gregory's shirt. _Well Remi you have always told me to do it, know I have._

"Well if you must know. Phase Two was the plan to build a moth and butterfly sanctuary in Portland, Oregon." Maria answered with completely fake information, spitting out the remainder of blood on Gregory's papers.

Gregory's jaw clenched and he stayed quiet as he began to wipe his suit off with a napkin that one of the guards at the door had given him.

"You're trying my patience, sweetheart." He growled out, reaching for the files and crumpling them in his hands.

Maria smiled sweetly in response, attempting to settle her hands into a more comfortable position, managing to finally scrape her skin into bleeding.

"It's been three days Hill. I've given you three days of mercy and patience," Gregory leaned in close to Maria's face, expression set in fury, "I won't hesitate to use different methods of interrogation if you continue to be this difficult."

The lieutenant thought back to SHIELD, remembering that she had probably already been reported missing. Remi was probably yelling the crap out of Fury. But knowing Fury, he was probably holding off on the search and rescue missions. _Such confidence in me Fury, you should lose it right about now. _

Maria only hoped that Remi would become impatient enough to come and help out, without killing herself.

_ Just don't let them win. _She thought determinedly.

Maria sneered back at him, "I just gave you information!" She snarled.

The Italian shook his head before grabbing a fist full of Maria's hair and dragging her head onto the table harshly.

"Fake. Information." He corrected into her ear, twisting his hand in her hair.

The woman held back a groan of pain and stayed quiet, not giving Gregory any sort of satisfaction.

"Do you really think I'd give up confidential information like that so easily?" Maria spit into the table, managing a weak chuckle.

Gregory made a gagging noise and pulled Maria's head up and back, straining her against the back of the chair.

"This interrogation is so cliché and cheesy I feel like throwing up." The tall man grimaced.

Maria laughed again and looked up at Gregory, "You're provoking it, _sweetheart._"

His emerald eyes blazed and he swung his fist into her jaw again, causing her teeth to graze her cheek and let out more blood.

"I'm getting very tired of this Hill. You know, I have other plans for you, in case there's no hope of getting anything out of you," Then Gregory smiled sadistically, letting go of Maria's hair then, "And I think it might be necessary for that plan to be executed, very soon."

The SHIELD agent rolled her eyes and shook her head disbelievingly, though secretly dreading what would come if Gregory came through with his plan.

And as the two of them stared murder at each other, the door opened and in walked two more men, both dressed in suits, expressions changing to agitation on the sight of Maria.

"Vince here says you've been difficult, Ms. Hill." The first man spoke up in a slight English accent, looking over at her.

The lieutenant almost flinched back when his icy, pale blue eyes burned into hers. Those eyes, Maria would for sure remember for the rest of her life. She suddenly found herself unable to look away, the lifeless pools keeping her glued to her spot, not even sure why that happened. _Look away._

Maria commanded herself to look away and instead focused on remembering the man's features, for future location. _If I even live._

This man also seemed to be younger, maybe as old as Gregory, both around 30 years old. His short, jet black hair sat on his head gelled into a messy quiff/mohawk look. His jaw jutted out in what normal women would call the "Greek god sculpt by All Father himself". He was much taller than Maria as well, almost as tall as Gregory. And he was lanky as well, a thin, but well-built frame.

And of course his most haunting and distinguishing feature, the lifeless, pale blue eyes that were currently staring straight into Maria's very soul with a satisfied look.

"Drew. Drew Ashford." The English man smirked, leaning in towards Maria over the table. He wore a simple black button up shirt and dark jeans.

She didn't answer and instead focused her attention over at the second man, who stood looking over with a smirk of his own.

He was older, 41 or so, a bit shorter than Ashford. His dark brown hair was gelled back in a clean, flat fashion, the remainder of it in curls at the back of his neck. He was more muscled than the other two, his biceps straining against the tan suit jacket he wore. A fuzzy brown goatee sat on his face and his dark brown eyes spoke murder towards her. _Russian_

"Hey! Were you listening?!" Ashford's deep voice rung out in agitation as he caught hold of her chin and dragged her face over to look at his.

_Resist. _Maria sneered at him and shook her head free, spitting towards him another bloody spitball.

"Trying isn't she?" Gregory growled out after Ashford barely managed to dodge the spitball, he rubbed at his temples tiredly.

"Why are you even trying out this hopeless crap, Gregory?" The Russian man finally spoke up in a thick accent. "She's a lost cause." He rolled his eyes.

Ashford grimaced in disgust as Maria smiled at him gently. And he suddenly flashed forward, cracking his palm against her cheek and sending her head pitching to the side.

"Yoslov is right Vince." Ashford seethed, watching Maria flex her jaw and roll her head to ease the pain. _Bastards._

The Italian shrugged and nodded, "Yes I know. I was actually thinking that maybe you men would like to join me in my different approach." He grinned sadistically then.

Ashford looked over at his companion with a similar smile, seeming to remember whatever that was, "Ah, yes, that."

Yoslov raised a thin eyebrow in question, looking between the two men.

"Oh my friend! You'll enjoy it; I know how much you despise Hill's organization. You'll enjoy it greatly, trust me." Ashford jumped up in delight and patted Yoslov on the back excitedly.

Maria looked around them with her usual emotionless, hard stare contemplating on possible escape plans. _Torture, no doubt it's going to be torture. _And her desire to leave suddenly flared up inside her, but she stayed quiet, only letting out a glare towards Ashford when he gave her a hungry look.

"I know what my approach will be." He smirked, chuckling with Yoslov afterwards.

"Drew, you nasty lad." Gregory chuckled before motioning over for the guards by the door to come forward.

The woman allowed the guards to unshackle her from the table and lead her towards the door roughly, planning to fight back out in the hallway.

"Room S-17, men." Gregory instructed, following them out into the hallway with the other two men on his heel.

Maria kept patience for a while longer as they all walked down the hallway, getting her bearings and trying to find a way out quickly. She was at a disadvantage though, for they had blindfolded her before walking her into the facility and to the interrogation room, where they had locked her for three days, no food, just water.

Maria was weak, and she didn't know a fast way out, yet she still had combat skill on her side.

"Okay boys." She muttered out suddenly before bringing her arms together with all of her strength and throwing the guards together in front of her. This caught them off guard, slackening their grip on her arms as they bashed heads.

Maria capitalized on this and wrenched her arms out of their grip before rearing back and slamming both fists into the back of each guard's necks, sending them tumbling to the ground.

"You little shit!" Gregory bellowed before shooting forward with his arms outstretched towards her. Ashford and Yoslov stood in surprise behind him.

Maria smirked at Gregory before grabbing onto his arms and whipping them downward as he reached her. She quickly jumped up and onto Gregory's back, sending him into the ground face first.

Ashford was the first to react afterwards, deciding to hold his ground as Maria flew towards him. She suddenly had a little too much confidence, running towards Ashford and prepared to send a side punch into his jaw.

But Ashford swiftly bent down, dodging Maria's punch and sending a roundhouse kick into her side, making the lieutenant fly to the side.

"Agh!" Maria held back a cry of pain as she struggled to her feet quickly and prepared herself for the Englishman's next attack.

He came speeding at her for a foot before suddenly dodging to the side and aiming another kick into her.

But Maria was prepared this time and blocked his kick, sending it back and into the wall with her forearm.

Ashford staggered back and Maria shot forward with a roundhouse kick of her own, putting him on the ground with a groan. "Feels good doesn't it?" Maria sneered before hopping over the man's crumpled body and gliding down the hallway at full speed.

And just as Maria made it to the door at the opposite end of the hallway, there was a loud gunshot behind her and Maria froze, emitting a pained groan.

She looked down in horror at the wound that was already beginning to bleed out on her calf.

"H-hah..." She whimpered in a strained voice before forcing weight onto it, still determined to get away from there.

_This can't be happening. _The woman thought in horror as she still went to grasp for the door handle in front of her.

Another gunshot rang through the hallway and Maria fell then, her hand sliding off of the doorknob as she immediately feeling the sharp pain sear through her ribcage. _No!_

She gasped out a cry of pain as she landed on her hands and knees, spitting out more blood onto the cement floor.

"Get up Lieutenant. Don't you have a reputation for fighting through injuries?" A Russian accent spoke up from down the hall, sneering and cold.

Maria looked back and her bleary eyesight found Yoslov putting down a handgun that was still smoking from its use.

All she could utter was a strained groan before collapsing onto the ground and clutching her side.

"Get up Lieutenant, come on. You're strong will and determination gets you through anything right?" She faintly heard Yoslov's footsteps headed her way and another pain seared through her side, causing Maria to emit a whimper.

And the last thing she saw before she lost consciousness was Yoslov's silhouette standing over her with the faint glint of a knife held over her neck.

*maniacal laugh and grin* Now this is where I listen to my post every Friday rule. Hope you enjoyed it, 'till next Friday.

Maxine


	4. Chapter 3

_New chapter! Finally right?! Enjoy, anyway(:_

_Maxine _

_Disclamer: I do not own the Avengers_

**Undisclosed Location**

**April 18, 2014 9:30am**

**SHIELD Headquarters**

Steve Rogers watched in fascination as Remi Knight twirled the playing card in her hands, tossing and flourishing several times before suddenly stopping, the card sitting between her index finger and thumb.

Then, with a quick finger flick, the Queen of Hearts had suddenly changed into an Ace of Spades.

"Whoa." Steve sat back in wonder, trying to figure out how that trick could've worked as Remi stared off into the distance with a slightly troubled, absent look.

Then the agent looked over at Steve, eyes narrowing, taking in his features. He seemed more tired than usual, dark shadows had begun to appear under his eyes. They seemed haunted, distracted with ghosts of possible nightmares lingering in the blue irises. The Captain had even taken to forgetting to gel back his hair, usually leaving it messy and unkempt.

"You haven't been looking too swell, Captain." Remi spoke in a reserved, quieter tone. Not at all like her.

"I could say the same for you, Agent." Steve returned the comment with the raise of an eyebrow, his wondrous demeanor suddenly changing to a somber one.

Remi looked on at Steve with emotionless, pale grey eyes. She took a sip of her strong, black coffee, seeming to have to swallow hard. Strange, she always added in a load of creamer and sugar to her coffee, even tea.

"Maria." She remarked in a monotone voice, squeezing down another sip.

His jaw clenched at the name, _Dammit Steve, the absence of a co-worker shouldn't be having this kind of effect on you._

Steve shook his head slightly in a defeated slouch. Ever since Remi had relayed the news of Maria's absence, Steve had been unable to sleep or even eat well. Often laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling, torturing himself with thoughts of Maria's possible torture or even death after her capture. And whenever he did get to sleep, he was haunted by those very thoughts, often morphing into much worse nightmares.

"You too." He replied, taking a quick look around the Mess Hall, finding only a few older agents sitting and talking, or typing away on laptops.

_She is just a co-worker. Right?_

Remi nodded, seeming to accept his accusation. She looked down at her Ace of Spades and began to twirl it around in her fingers again, looking up and out of the large window wall of the Hall. She seemed to be considering something.

"Is something happening, Knight?" Steve asked carefully, as if not to set off the agent. She had been acting very tense lately as well, having snapped at many junior agents a lot over the past week, even managing to break two handguns at the shooting range as well.

"I've been gathering information. Y'know, on the location, Gregory the weapons negotiator. I've been planning it, got a team already, and even an infiltration and extraction plan." The agent finally explained, leaning forward on the table, as if telling Steve one of SHIELDs most private secrets.

"Fury's been helping too. He wants her back as well." She suddenly looked up almost uncertainly.

"We leave tomorrow night." She announced, Steve having to lean forward to hear her quiet voice.

"I can assume I'm not part of that extraction team." Steve stated more than questioned.

Remi then looked up at Steve, almost arrogantly, the most emotion he's seen on her face for almost two weeks. "No you're not. I added in agents who were willing. As well as relatively close to Maria, connections, memories… feelings even." The ghost of a smirk graced her features at the lie.

The last statement somehow got to Steve. A strange feeling he couldn't describe flaring up in his chest, hot and blistering. He fought to keep a nonchalant expression, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

This action confirmed Remi's suspicions on Steve's feelings about this whole ordeal. He did not like it at all. Didn't seem to like Maria being missing, maybe even being tortured. The possible worry had even begun to take a toll on his physical side as well. Shadowed eyes, haunted look, unkempt hair, lack of focus and energy.

"Yeah, heard Agent Jackson fussing about Maria earlier to Deck. They're both on the team. He seemed pretty worried, and excited to go out there and bring her back." Remi continued to lie smoothly, forcing another gulp of her black coffee down. She hated the taste but needed the energy that the plain caffeine gave her.

Steve stayed silent, focusing his gaze on his clenched fists sitting on the table. The knuckles white with tension.

"I'll be monitoring the mission through comms if you don't mind." The captain finally spoke through unclenching teeth, his voice seeming strained.

The female agent stood up slowly then, wincing as her sore muscles protested against the movement. She had been pushing the limits a little too much in training lately, sparring with Barton had even gotten to the point of hard-on kicking and punching.

"No problem, Captain. We might even need your strategy skills." She replied with a stretch before grabbing up her mug and beginning to walk away.

Then she paused and looked back at Steve abruptly with a smirk, "By the way, Steve. You're not very good with hiding emotions and reactions." She called back before walking towards the washing window and leaving her mug.

It was at that moment that Steve found out what that angry feeling had been.

_Jealousy._

**Ukraine**

**April 19, 2014 11:43pm**

**HYDRA Prisoner Base**

"Okay…" Remi looked away from her rifle scope and back around her to the SHIELD extraction team she had put together to rescue Maria.

They were situated about a quarter of a mile away from the HYDRA prisoner base where Maria was suspected to be. The team sat on top of a forested foothill in the distance, far enough away from the base to not be found. But close enough to be able to see the outside and how the security worked.

"So you all know the approach, right?" The female agent breathed out as she straightened up and acknowledged the group. There were 12 agents, all suited up in protective armor, weapons at the ready and comms turned on.

"Split, search, eliminate disturbances, protect Hill till I get to her location, capture Gregory if possible." Remi quickly summarized, going through the plan in detail in her own thoughts.

Once everyone nodded in agreement and she heard an all clear from Steve at HQ who had been watching the base as well, she gave the signal and the team began to move out towards the base.

And as they got closer, Agents Jackson and Moore separated with their assigned groups and led them out to infiltrate different parts of the base, leaving Remi with her own group.

"Alright, the first block of the torture interrogation rooms is coming up on your right, Knight." Steve's voice sounded in her ear as she crept down the dimly lit corridor, four agents trailing behind, pointing their guns at any sound they heard.

They turned the corner then and found themselves at the fork of a hallway after stepping through a steel door that had been labeled **S-17** in big, red, spray painted lettering.

Remi grimaced in disgust as the screaming and wailing suddenly started to reach her ears, vibrating through her skull and never ending.

She looked back behind her and found an uncleaned blood smear on the floor just in front of the steel door. _That's not right. _

The other agents exchanged looks and grimaces as they made their way quietly down the hall, stopping at the fork.

"Alright, Clark, Lopez and Harrison go that way. Garcia and I will go this-" Remi never got to finish her instructions as she was suddenly cut off by an angry shout from down the left hallway.

Logan Garcia was the first to turn towards the sound, her head whipping around so hard that Remi thought she would snap it. The three other agents whipped their handguns from their holsters and pointed them down the hall.

Remi whipped around as well to find two HYDRA agents standing halfway down the hallway, aiming guns at them. One of them was yelling into the comms in his ear while the other yelled obscenities at the rival agents in German.

Remi didn't remember which side shot first, but everything was suddenly tinted in red as the lights dimmed into a flashing red as the alarms began to go off, wailing ear splittingly around her skull. Gun shots resonating off the grey walls of the corridors as well.

Garcia pulled Remi down onto the ground as their fellow agents continued to shoot at the rivals.

"We still gotta find Hill!" Remi called towards her team as they began to advance on the HYDRA agents, efficiently shooting off the both of them in minutes.

"Alright. Stick to the plan boys! But we all stay together!" Garcia seemed to be onboard with Remi and she immediately began calling out orders as Remi was too busy rushing down the hall in search of her friend.

The group was once again distracted as bullets began to wiz by their heads from behind. Garcia urged Remi forwards as she took up a position behind one of the wall dips with Harrison, Clark and Lopez shooting back at the attackers.

The female agent beamed down the hallway, only slowing down once she got to a part where there were steel doors lining both sides of the corridor. The alarm sirens still blared loudly and she could still here the guns being shot from down the hallway.

People were down here too, running out of the torture rooms in a rehearsed, quiet fashion. Some wore lab coats and surgical masks, splattered in blood or still holding sharp instruments. Others were actual prisoners, shooting out of the rooms in a panic and screaming, while others came out with instruments of their own, sinking them into the backs and necks of the lab coats.

It was chaos.

Remi grimaced as the overwhelming smell of blood filed her nostrils and as several bloody, torture toys found themselves flying by her head. She almost went flying back to the gun fight, rather being surrounded by bullets than blood and crazed torture victims. _But I have to find Maria._

She pushed on through the crowd, until she found herself face to face with two lab coats. One was holding a gun up to her and another aiming some sort of double bladed knife in the air.

"You are not allowed here." One of them spoke, a short man with emotionless brown eyes, which was all Remi could see above the surgical mask he wore.

"I want my friend." Remi narrowed her eyes and spoke over the screeching of the alarms and screaming, gripping her gun tightly at her side.

"You are not allowed here." The other mask spoke in agitation as he reared back and suddenly let the strange knife fly.

Remi let fly a bullet straight into the agent's neck as she dodged to the side, feeling the knife catch on her pants and tear the leg.

"I want my friend!" Remi screeched over all the noise again, thankful for the hallway suddenly thinning of people, mentally damaged prisoners sitting and muttering in corners at this point.

The second lab coat sneered at her and pulled the trigger, sending the bullet straight into her vest, only jolting the agent back.

_I'm so tired of this. _Remi snarled out in frustration then and shot the lab coat two times in the chest, letting him fall dead onto his companion.

"Remi! You alright?! Jackson contacted, they're being attacked, you've been discovered! Moore's been killed, so have Harrison, Lopez and several others!" Steve's voice suddenly rang through her earpiece; she grimaced at the news but trudged on down the hallway, glancing quickly into many of the rooms as she moved through. _Where are you Maria?!_

"Garcia? You alright?" Remi spoke into her earpiece, ignoring Steve's remark. She was answered with a quick reply of, "Yeah, I'm down looking for any of our survivors, as well as Hill. HYDRA thinks our team was eliminated. They've focused on Moore and Jackson's teams."

The agent shot a prisoner who was still strapped to an operating table, bleeding out and fully conscious.

"It's grody down here." She muttered into the earpiece. Steve answered with a report on Jackson, still alive with one more agent. Garcia giving a, "Humph."

Eventually, Remi encountered one, single, closed door. No sound came from it, except for muttering voices.

"Jackson and Hight are dead." Steve muttered through the earpieces.

"Moore's team is dead." Announced Garcia in a sober tone.

Remi didn't answer, pressing her ear onto the steel door, straining to hear what was happening behind it.

"Leave Logan." She commanded quietly, pressing her finger onto her comms. Garcia protested, demanding to go and help Remi, to which she quietly shushed her and commanded her to leave again.

Remi didn't want Logan dying, she was a good friend of hers, a strong agent that SHIELD needed. _But weren't they all?_

Garcia reluctantly agreed and didn't communicate after that.

"Remi what are you up to?" Steve asked through the comms.

She shushed quietly in response and listened to the door again.

"_This is more entertaining than I thought it would be Vince_." A smooth voice sounded, speaking fluently in Italian.

At that moment, Remi almost found herself breaking through the door in a flurry of bullets.

_Vince. Vince Gregory! The bastard that took Maria!_

The blaring of the alarms suddenly stopped, the hallway lighting turning back into its eerie, orange hue. _They think everyone's dead._

A few moments

passed before approaching footsteps suddenly alarmed Remi to someone coming to open the door. She quickly backtracked and flew into one of the nearby rooms, hiding herself to the side of the door frame that faced Maria's supposed torture room.

She peeked from the darkness of the bloody room and into the hall, watching as the steel door slid open and out walked a tall and lanky figure. _Vince Gregory. _Remi's blood boiled as he stretched out his arms and looked around with curiosity.

The female agent lifted her gun close and checked for a good amount of ammo, finding only four missing shots. _Good._

"Agh. Stuffy in there." The Italian muttered to himself as he began to walk down the corridor, opposite to Remi's side.

She smirked in delight at his exposed back, already taking aim, finger caressing the trigger.

And as she shuffled forward a little to adjust her angle, she stumbled on some slick blood that had been splattered on the tile floor, making her squeeze down on the trigger.

There was a snarl as the bullet ripped its way into Gregory's leg, sending him stumbling to the ground.

Remi quickly recovered and stepped out of the shadows, mentally berating herself for slipping and missing.

_But he does deserve some pain before death. A lot of pain actually. _She decided as she walked up to the writhing man on the floor.

She stared down at the Italian emotionlessly for a moment, taking in his pain twisted face. But that proved to be a mistake.

Remi froze in surprise as a sharp bang ripped through the air and she caught sight of a bullet strike itself into the wall in front of her.

The English woman whipped around to find herself face to face with another man that had just walked out of the shadows of the room.

He wore a crooked smile; he was tall and lanky as well, black hair, high cheekbones. Not much older than her, or Maria.

"I don't think you belong here sweetheart." His accent was English as well, just a bit thicker than her own.

Remi found herself at a loss of words, her eyes unable to tear away from the pale, icy blue irises that might as well have been boring into her soul.

The man smirked sadistically at her loss of reaction, before suddenly stepping forwards, towering over the smaller agent.

That was when Remi snapped out of her reverie and jumped back in defiance, unwilling to let herself become vulnerable again.

"I want my friend." She snapped, eyes blazing in anger, as she realized this man must be in with Gregory.

"What friend my dear?" The man replied in a confused tone. Gregory emitted a low groan from behind them.

"You know who I'm talking about!" She snarled in response, swinging up her fist to his jaw and punching him aside before rushing into the brightly lit room.

Remi had to squint slightly as the fluorescent lights blinded her eyes that had gotten so used to the dim light of the hallways.

She whipped around frantically searching for her best friend, finally finding her strapped to some sort of metal, operating table.

Remi froze in then, her breath hitching in surprise.

The lieutenant was currently squirming uncontrollably against the bindings on her arms and legs, scarlet liquid leaking out from under the cuffs.

There were countless cuts and bruises riddling her body, which was only dressed in a pair of shorts and a red tank top; _Did that used to be white?_

Maria's eyes were flying wildly around the room in a frantic search for something, Remi wasn't sure for what. One of them swollen shut from a hideous black eye.

Blood dripped and ran from Maria in endless streams, dripping off of the table and bearing audible splashes into the puddles surrounded it.

Some cuts ran so deep, Remi wasn't sure how Maria hadn't bled out and died yet. A bullet wound was displayed on her calf, crudely made stitching across her side and arms had confirmed other bullet wounds.

Maria arched her neck back in a spasm of pain, displaying several large, finger-shaped bruises.

Remi was at a loss of words, unable to even move at the shock of such a strong woman's demise.

The Englishman took this as an advantage and darted into the room, dodging his way towards Remi and immediately bashing the butt of his gun into her neck, bringing her to her knees in pain.

At that moment, Maria suddenly caught sight of Remi, instantly recognizing her best friend. A tremor shook her fragile body and Remi thought she could shatter right then and there.

"This your friend Lieutenant?" The man asked with a smirk as he wrenched his hands into Remi's hair, holding her in place as he pressed the end of his gun onto her temple.

Maria let out a strangled cry as he did this, straining against her binds.

"What's better than hurting you physically?" He sneered again, digging the barrel into the woman's temple.

Remi's expression suddenly hardened into one of determination and she turned her stormy grey gaze straight into Maria's eyes.

"Steve is on his way." Her steady voice sounded, despite the situation, slightly reassuring Maria.

The lieutenant stared back, features horror-stricken, but nonetheless, she nodded back.

Remi's feature softened then, "It's okay. I'm okay."

And the dead-eyed man smirked then as he pulled the trigger.

_Sorry, I'm not sorry. Till next Friday then!_

_Maxine_


	5. Chapter 4

_New chapter! Woot! By the way, I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier! And it blew my mind, every part of that movie failed to disappoint, it was amazing! Though I would've liked more Agent 13/Sharon. But other than that, it was just great; I'll consider it my favorite Marvel movie so far! Enjoy!_

_Maxine_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers_

**Undisclosed Location**

**April 20, 2014 2:32am**

**SHIELD Headquarters**

"Agent Knight? Knight! Report back, agent!" Steve heard complete silence as a response through his earpiece.

_Why hasn't she answered?_

"Remi?!" He tried again, but was met with the same slight static noise in is ear.

"Get me through, whatever it takes." The captain commanded to the two computer specialists that sat next to him, helping monitor the extraction mission as well.

"Done, Captain." One of them quickly answered after tapping a few buttons in the screen in front of them.

_"Steve's on his way." _Static crackled in his ear before the sound of a voice suddenly sounded, determined and steady.

It was Remi's voice. _Did she find Maria?_

"_It's okay. I'm okay." _Remi spoke again in a softer tone, and not a second later, a muffled gunshot sounded and a grunt of pain came from Remi before a hard thump afterwards.

Steve froze in horror at the sounds he heard, the specialists staring wide-eyed as they listened too.

And suddenly, a shrill cry sounded in their ears, distant, but loud enough for them to hear. "_Noooo!" _ Steve stiffened again at the voice, it belonged to Maria.

She sounded so… _My god…_ Steve ran his hands through his messy hair and stood up, ripping the comms out of his ear and stomping out of the mission's communications room.

**Undisclosed Location**

**April 24, 2014 4:56pm**

**SHIELD Headquarters**

"Time of death: 2:33am April 20th 2014." Director Fury finished reading from the snowy, white paper he held over his desk.

Steve ran his hands down his face, fighting the drowsiness. He had three straight days without sleep since Remi's failed mission.

The entire time was spent at the Avengers Towers, locked up on his floor and avoiding anyone and everyone who tried to contact him.

The worry and anger for Maria had been eating away at him, prompting the super soldier to fly to Ukraine and break into that compound himself. Closing his eyes for more than a minute resulted in horrible, surreal flashes of Maria being killed or tortured, along with the only agent who had ever made him feel welcome at SHIELD, Remi.

And when three days of no public contact passed, Tony Stark had took it upon himself to barge into Steve's apartment and literally drag the super soldier up to the Avengers common floor with the help of the Iron Man suit.

Steve hated it, but he realized he needed something to take his mind off of the stress, sitting and thinking about it was no help. So he decided to cooperate with Tony and sat around with the rest of the Avengers the rest of the day.

Then this morning, Fury had contacted Steve and told him that Logan Garcia had just arrived from Ukraine; the only survivor of the mission. The director wanted him for a debriefing.

Now the hero sat in one of HQ's many debriefing rooms with Fury and Logan Garcia, answering the many questions that the director had and listening to a report from the computer specialists.

"Y-yeah. That's correct." Steve muttered, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. Logan's emotionless expression seemed to slip and she looked almost bruised for a second.

"Well, Garcia? Can you describe what happened in that compound?" Fury turned to the younger woman and she nodded, recounting what happened, from the infiltration, to the beginning of the shooting, to going off in search of the other teams and finally to leaving the compound.

"It was gory, bloody in there." Logan finished with a grimace and a shake of the head.

"HYDRA death toll?" The director continued after listening to the story, taking notes while Steve cringed back and finally forced his focus on a finger smudge on the glass table.

"Not sure. Around 19 to 25. More than us." Steve traced his gaze around the imprint's inner patterns, keeping his hands dug into his hair and rubbing at his temples. _Get a grip Rogers. They deserve this, especially since they've no doubt had other victims, not only Maria._

No matter what, Steve had always been weary and careful of killing. Death was something he just didn't promote, not to anyone or anything. It had never been a part of his motives or thoughts.

Logan's slight smile at the HYDRA death toll disappeared and was replaced by a grim, emotionless stare again as Fury announced his next move.

"Alright. I just lost 11 of my agents, all levels five, six and seven. And Knight was one of my best, level eights too," The man shook his head solemnly and continued, "So I've decided that I won't be sending anymore rescue missions for Hill until further notice."

Both Steve and Logan looked up, startled by the news. Logan narrowing her eyes in disbelief while Steve only stared on, praying that Fury was joking.

"But sir-" Steve began to protest but a glare from Fury quieted him. The director turned to Logan then, "Garcia, you have earned a leave of absence if you accept it. You can leave as soon as you'd like." He stated in his usual, deep voice.

Logan merely nodded, getting up, collecting her papers, and with a disapproving look back, glided out of the debriefing room.

"Rogers, I would like to know why Hill's absence has caused so much trouble for you. You haven't been the same since you've heard about it." The one-eyed man turned back to Steve fixing him with his usual business-like stare.

_Now what? _Steve hesitated, hastily trying to think of a good reason for his behavior. _That is true, why has this caused you so much trouble anyway?_

"Well sir, Hill is a very important asset to SHIELD. She keeps things under control, makes sure jobs get done," Steve's voice rasped out unsteadily, having not been used very much lately, "And things always seem to go a little awry around here when she's off on missions. Hill being gone this long can be a bit dangerous." _Really? This lie again?_

_You don't give a damn whether she's here for SHIELD or not. Just admit it Rogers, you have feelings for the lieutenant. Don't try and deny this, her absence, the inability to know whether she's okay or not is killing you! _ A voice snarled to life inside of Steve's head, sounding an awful lot like Tony Stark's smirking sneering tone.

Director Fury looked over at Steve disbelievingly, shaking his head in exasperation beginning to reach for his papers. The super soldier stopped him suddenly, planting a hand on the papers first, his expression changed into one of anger.

"Fury with all due respect, I'm not at all fond with your decision on this matter." Something akin to a threatening glare was shot from Steve, towards the man in front of him, something no one had ever seen on the good captain's face.

Fury glared back at him menacingly, tugging the papers out from under Steve's hand and gliding out of the room, "My decision will stand Rogers. Until we find a different and safer approach."

"Yeah and she'll be dead by the time you find a 'better' approach!" The super soldier snarled out the door as Fury opened it and walked out. He groaned in frustration, ripping his hands through his hair before stomping out and heading out the Training and Gym Wing of headquarters.

**A few hours later**

Clint Barton glided through the automatic-opening, large, glass doors to the Gym and Training Arena, looking around and taking in the familiar large arena. It was riddled with different sections and spaces for many kinds of disciplines, tai chi, yoga, weight-lifting, another sliding glass door to the shooting range, hand-to-hand combat area, and even boxing.

An angry figure stationed at the boxing area suddenly caught the archer's attention and he recognized it as Steve Rogers, his fellow team member and friend.

The super-soldier stood in front of one of the biggest punching bags from the selection, hurling all of his strength into it, sending the bag swinging back and forth with the dangerous force.

Clint made his way over to Steve with careful curiosity. He had never seen the Captain this angry, no one had for that matter. He always kept a calm, dignified, compassionate demeanor.

Clint almost flinched back when Steve swung around to face him after he called his name, still in a fighting stance, face twisted in annoyance.

"You alright, Cap?" Clint asked, keeping his features blank as well as his voice, fearing any show of emotion might incite violence. The super-soldier seemed ready to hulk out at this point.

Steve straightened up then, slipping off his boxing bandages before sinking onto the mat, rubbing at his temples, eyes slamming shut in distress.

"I don't know what's going on…" He muttered through gritted teeth.

Clint sat down in front of Steve, crossing his legs and waiting for the man to regain his composure enough to have a conversation. _He's my friend and team mate, gotta make sure he's alright._

"You're in the boxing section at SHIELD Headquarters. You were just beating the crap out of a punching bag." Clint stated in a voice void of emotion.

The Captain nodded once before looking up at Clint with bleary, shadowed and tired-looking eyes.

"Tell me." Clint continued, rolling onto the ground and ending up lying flat on his back. The archer looked up at Steve and motioned for his companion to join him on the ground.

Steve heaved out a sigh before beginning his story in a slightly raspy, unused voice. Clint thought back to these past couple of days at the Avengers Tower. His friend had locked himself up on his floor and refused any contact with anybody until Tony dragged him onto the common floor yesterday. The rest of the day had consisted of Steve sitting quietly and awkwardly on the couch, starring at the TV, void of any emotion, only answering questions asked by either Natasha or Bruce.

Clint had heard about Remi Knight's failed attempt to rescue Maria. SHIELD had lost one of their best agents; Remi had always been that one relaxing massage on the brain to everyone around SHIELD. Always joining Clint on his expeditions into the air vents of HQ to shoot everyone with Nerf guns from their high perches.

Remi's laid-back attitude towards everything had lead to SHIELD's normally hard, business-like resolve melting into a more relaxed state of mind; she was everyone's "Stress relieving bunny" as Coulson had put it once.

"When Remi first told me that Maria had been captured during her Ukraine mission, I worried of course, she's important to SHIELD. But after a while, I started to get a lot of nightmares… and I couldn't stop thinking about how… I always seemed to be at ease… knowing that she was safe at HQ working, or hearing that she was coming back from a successful mission," Clint felt Steve shake his head slightly, "I know she would push me away a lot and even ignore me, but even through that, I still felt towards her."

"Not knowing if she's okay or not has been killing me. I can't seem to focus on anything other than Maria being hurt… worrying about what they might be doing to her. If she's dead…. Or not..." Steve finished, his voice floating off into silence.

Clint laid there, considering Steve's words, already drawing a conclusion in his mind. _He loves her._

"Steve, I'm pretty sure you have feelings for Maria." Clint stated clearly, staring up at the ceiling as Steve shifted uncomfortably.

"Me too…" Steve muttered with a defeated sigh.

"You seem to care about her a lot, considering what's been going on with you." Clint continued, Steve nodding in agreement.

"So much…" The Captain whispered. He seemed to be coming to terms with his feelings as they spoke.

"What did Fury say after Remi's mission?" Clint asked, wondering if the director could allow another rescue mission so Steve could go, Clint and probably the rest of the Avengers at his back.

"Not allowing another mission until further notice." Steve suddenly growled out through gritted teeth. _So that's why he's been so angry._

"You have to go after her Steve," Clint whispered, "Don't take Fury's crap, she's hurting out there. _Bad. _You gotta go." He sat up.

Steve looked up at him, still on the ground, his expression skeptic.

"And I will back you up the entire way," Clint continued determinedly, "and so will the Avengers."

Steve suddenly let out a small smile, "We'll avenge Maria." He muttered.

Clint shot onto his feet then, fist in the air, "Yeah! We'll avenge Maria!" He chuckled, managing to bring the Captain to a chuckle as well.

"I'll go and contact everyone; you tell Fury we're taking no crap from him. Keep love alive, right?" Clint began to move towards the door, turning back to quote Tony.

Steve sat up and smiled as Clint walked out. A newfound confidence suddenly found its way worming into his chest and he looked out one of the large window walls, into the mountainous landscape beyond.

"I'm on my way, Maria."

**Kiev, Ukraine**

**April 25, 2014 **_**Time Unknown**_

**HYDRA Prisoner Base**

She doesn't know the passing of time.

She doesn't even know where she is.

All she knows is pain.

And she cares for nothing else.

They strip her flesh from her body, her muscle from bone.

Or so she thinks…

"_More drug."_

They burn her body black, scorching the skin clean off of her.

Or so she thinks…

"_How about another dose?"_

She lost her lieutenant Hill stoicism a long time ago.

Now she screams her throat raw and bloody.

But she does not speak.

She finds herself praying for a death that never comes.

They already knew which faces to conjure to cause the most perfect of suffering.

Thor's face appears, grinning in feral pleasure, as he smashes her bones to splinters and dust with Mjolnir.

Natasha and Clint chuckle heartily as they dangle Maria off of skyscrapers and buildings… by her neck… strangling her.

It's not only the Hulk who pounds on her skin and punches and kicks the air out of her brutally, it's also Bruce, the usually quiet scientist snarling out insults and profanities into her ear as he does so.

Maria's throat burns with the dry fire that singes her own skin as Tony stands in front of her, the Mark 1 suit he wears, blowing out flame after endless flame onto her skin.

And the ever-carefree Remi's face stares down at her with crazed, grey eyes as she slices Maria up. Her sharpened, weapon playing cards flying and flashing into her skin ever so slowly and painfully. She butchers Maria, her teeth flashing white and bloody as she cuts her path in different, patterns, deep enough to cause the worst pain.

Maria knows deep down that it's only the mind and memory altering drugs that cause these illusions… it's only the three HYDRA men who are doling out her tortures. _It's not really them! It's the drugs!_

But it's all seems so painful, and real.

That sort of pain, there is no sound. There's heavy ragged breathing and bright lights behind shuttered eyelids. It is words on her lips that she cannot remember and cannot understand.

Pain is sharp and it is dull and it is exhausting. She has learnt how many different ways she can bleed - the scarlet stains smeared on silver utensils; the flicker and silent death of all hope; the bitter choked scream of will.

She is tired of the taste of blood in her mouth. She is tired of fighting for her next breath, for knowing what it feels like to have her body broken and sliced over and over again.

She chokes on blood and her own teeth and she glares up at them, the last of any sort of abstinence she might gather, through hair matted with blood and filth. And her rough, raw voice asks, "What do you want?" It still bears the ghosts of steel, of determination and strength, and that makes it impossibly unfamiliar.

Gregory leans close to her, his teeth showing bright and maniacal. He grins at her as his hands close over her broken and burnt arms, holding her in place.

"There is nothing we want from you, you're useless," he laughs.

_Steve's on his way! Will he arrive on time, though… *evil villain laugh*_

_Maxine_


	6. Chapter 5

_Avengers Assemble! Here they finally come! (:_

_Maxine_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers_

**Kiev, Ukraine**

**April 28, 2014 1:47am**

**HYDRA Prisoner Base**

"Get out of my way." Tony growled as he stood in the dimly-lit hallway, facing down a HYDRA agent who had intercepted his path, aiming a rather large gun-like contraption at him.

The HYDRA agent only snarled out some sort of refusal in a foreign language that Tony didn't understand and took a ready stance, switching the weapon on.

"No time for this." He muttered before quickly lifting his suited hand and shooting a blast from his suit, hitting the man square in the chest and knocking him unconscious on the ground farther down the hallway.

The weapon flew back with him, eventually landing with a satisfying thud on the agent's chest.

"Stark's in the right section, head over to S-17 guys." Agent Garcia's voice suddenly sounded in the billionaire's ear, followed by confirmations by Steve, Natasha and Clint, the only other Avengers who had flown to Ukraine to rescue Maria.

Bruce, Logan Garcia, Fury and Jane Foster had stayed behind at the SHIELD Triskelion Building, helping with communications, directions and enemy targeting. They had all flown in from HQ, New Mexico, and New York to help out with the mission. Thor was on Asgard, unknowing of the events going down, but a messenger had been sent to him upon Clint's announcement of the situation.

Tony continued on down the hallway, kicking and punching down the many steel doors that led to the torture chambers within. And though his primary search was for the lieutenant, every time he broke into a room, Tony was releasing anyone located in those rooms as well, eventually causing havoc in the halls.

The hallways were soon filled with crazed torture victims as well as the lab-coats themselves, running around in panic and anger. There was blood _everywhere. _

Tony allowed himself to cringe every so often. The scenes before him were indeed horrific, proving Garcia's earlier description of it completely true. The lab-coats and victims fought, throwing silver utensils at each other and literally spilling even more blood on the ground than there already was.

Tony fought to keep from gagging as the smell reached him even through his suit and slipped on a puddle of the dark red liquid.

The Avengers hadn't even bothered to infiltrate the base quietly; the original plan was just that. But Tony had become impatient and eventually blasted his way through the base, immediately setting off the alarms and counter-attacks from HYDRA.

Steve, Clint and Natasha had run in after him, exasperated but nonetheless joining the fighting as well as trying to find the Lieutenant.

"Approaching you, Stark." Natasha spoke through the comms and only moments later, there was a flurry of gunshots sounding behind him and he turned to see Clint and Steve finishing off a squadron of HYDRA attackers, Natasha already reaching him, and beginning to check the surrounding torture chambers.

"Maria?" He heard the red-head call into the rooms she checked, occasionally being answered with a strangled scream from within.

"You sure this is the right section?" Tony asked through the comms, annoyed that the lieutenant was nowhere to be seen in any of these rooms. All of his attempts of search being ruined by blood-smeared not-even-humans-anymore shoving past him, out of the rooms.

"Yes!" Garcia's voice called back into his ear, her voice steady and sure.

"Squadron of four coming down the corridor, get ready." Jane suddenly spoke up, alerting the Avengers of danger.

Clint turned to Steve and Tony, "Keep looking, we'll hold 'em off." With that, the archer and curly-haired assassin took off down the hallway, sticking to the walls and using the horrible lighting to their advantage.

"Alright Maria's room is coming up close here. We just traced Knight's last communication to the last room on your left." Bruce's voice now crackled to life in their ears, the heroes immediately using the directions and sprinting to the very door.

A few seconds later, gunshots were suddenly being exchanged farther down the hallway, _Legolas and Red must've found their targets._

Tony struggled to keep up with Steve, having to run in the suit rather than fly through the corridors as they ended up being too small.

"Wait up!" Tony called before he finally caught up to a hesitant Captain America standing in front of the grey, steel door.

The blue-eyed man looked over at Tony, fear flying through his gaze. "What if she's dead?" He whispered.

_No, I did not come here to find that the love of my best friend's life is dead. _Tony shook his head and stepped up to the door, digging his metal hands into the steel and fisting them together, creating sort of handles in the door before finally pulling it out of its position and wrenching the grey mass onto the floor behind them.

Steve drew a handgun and Tony prepared his blasters, and together they stalked into the dark room.

Only one luminescent light shined in the room, directly above some sort of steel operating table. _Or in this case, torture table. _The table and the floor around it was smeared with dry and fresh blood alike, making Tony want to gag as the smell hit him again. A utensil cart next to the table revealed at least 20 different, silvery blades and hammer-like weapons. All spattered in blood…

"God damn." He muttered in disgust while still making his way slowly around the room, finding that there was no one other than Steve, himself and possibly Maria.

"Maria?" The Captain's shaky voice sounded in the still room, unsure, almost scared. Something the Captain never showed was fear; he always seemed so sure and… captainy.

"Maria? Lieutenant? Are you in here?" Tony spoke up next, sliding his mask up and speaking in the same careful tone Steve used, not wanting to cause any trouble if he scared anyone.

There was a split second of silence before both heroes were suddenly rewarded with the weakest and quietest of whimpers coming from the corner of the room. Quiet and feminine.

Though it was heartbreaking, the whimper almost made Tony fist pump in victory. _We found you._

Not even a second later, Steve was across the room and kneeling over the fragile and broken body of the Lieutenant herself.

She laid curled into a ball in a large puddle of own blood, her clothes torn and soaked in the red liquid that oozed from so many slices in her skin. She trembled to the point of him being able to hear her teeth click against each other; her eyes were screwed shut so tight it looked like it hurt as well. Tony's heart immediately went out to the broken woman in front of him. _Someone will die for this._

"Maria? It's Steve Rogers. Captain America. It's alright, you're safe now, you're okay." Tony decided to give Steve some space, hearing how close to tears the man sounded.

Instead, he focused his attention on the light footsteps that suddenly sounded in the hallway, eventually becoming Clint and Natasha at the door, bruised and favoring small injuries but nonetheless unscathed.

Natasha gave him a questioning look and Tony nodded once, confirming her suspicions, before motioning towards Steve, still crouched over Maria.

Clint nodded back and put his finger up to his ear, "Found her." He breathed out in what sounded to Tony like an assassin's version of a sigh of relief.

A yelp from the corner of the room revealed Steve leaning away from a curled up, now panicked Maria, eyes darting wildly around her, trembling like a leaf.

Steve held up his hands in surrender, "You're okay Maria. No one's here to hurt you. We're here to rescue you." He whispered again.

Natasha then narrowed her eyes in thought, staring over at the two in the corner before she suddenly spoke up, "Maria."

A hitched cry came from Maria again at the sound of Natasha's voice and she clutched at her arms and legs, pulling herself closer and squeezing her eyes shut in another panicked state.

Natasha looked around at the men in front of her, pursing her lips as they all exchanged knowing looks. Some sort of mind-altering drugs had been used on Maria..

"You found Hill? How is she? Is she alright? SHIELD needs her." Director Fury's voice suddenly boomed into the heroes' ears, startling them slightly.

"She just spent around two and a half weeks being cut up and drugged; of course she's not going to be okay, Fury!" Tony spoke up into the comms, annoyed at the Director's remark. _How could he already be expecting Maria up and on her feet after this fiasco?! _

The assassins in front of him rolled their eyes and nodded in agreement as Tony retorted.

The Director stayed silent after that.

"Please stop talking." Steve spoke up towards the other Avengers, staring at them with worried and pleading eyes. Then turning back to a trembling and crying Lieutenant Maria.

_She fears us… _Tony grimaced and looked over at Clint and Natasha, both nodding at him in solemn response. _I would like to drug them, make them see the fucked up things she saw. _He thought with a vengeance.

"Squadron of six heading your way. Heavily protected, but not hard for you. " Jane spoke up warningly.

Clint then lifted his arms and gestured for the other two to go out the door behind them, and into the now subsiding chaos of the hallway.

The alarms still blared loudly as well as the occasional crazed screams and the pounding of boots on the concrete floor. Other than that, the hallways had quieted and there were less people, _probably all gearing up to fight against us._

The Black Widow drew her gun and checked for ammo as Iron Man slid his mask down and Hawkeye knocked an arrow. And with a single nod of ready, they headed out into battle.

Maria let out a strangled yelp as Steve gently slipped his arms under her fragile body and lifted her.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered as he straightened up on his feet, slowly and careful not to move her so much.

The first thing Steve had done upon finding the woman was survey her injuries. Numerous, deep and ugly. He confirmed a broken arm and leg, broken ribs and possible dislocated shoulder. And dozens upon dozens of deep slices and cuts as well as many deep purple bruises riddling her skin. Worse than all of that were the two purple and infected bullet wounds that sat on her side and leg.

The first thing that Maria had done upon Steve's arrival was flinch back at his touch and attempt to send a kick in his direction, only ending in her leg flopping heavily back onto the ground.

And as she stared wide-eyed in pure fear at Steve, his heart shattered into a million pieces. Seeing this usually strong, independent, no nonsense SHIELD Commander in such a broken and fragile state had wrenched Steve's heart into a bruised and bloodied form.

Steve grimaced again as Maria whimpered out and her wounds began to seep blood onto his arms and uniform. She slowly, with a grimace and tears, curled herself a bit more comfortably in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck, only to have them slip away limply and back into the cradle of her body.

"You're okay." The Captain muttered as he adjusted his grip and held her close for a few moments, waiting for the gun fighting out in the hall to subside.

_She's losing too much blood. _Steve looked up at the bloody table and tools. _She's already lost too much blood._

"Just let me die, Captain. Please! I don't want to go through this anymore!" The woman's hoarse whisper had Steve straining to hear her correctly.

"No." Was all he replied, a firm rejection to let her slip away from him again. _You will not ever leave me again. _

Finally the gunshots ended with a single shriek of pain from a HYDRA agent and Steve turned to go through the door and leave the hellhole.

"Don't worry. You're going to be okay. They'll take care of you and the Avengers and I will make sure that you're safe the entire time. We're a family, a misshapen, weird family, but nonetheless a family." The super-soldier gently whispered as he walked out of the doorway.

At the mention of the Avengers, Maria flinched back in another panic and almost fell out of Steve's arms with a shriek.

As she tried to scream out, a gurgling noise escaped instead and Maria coughed out the dark red liquid that had begun to bubble up in her throat.

"No! Don't let them near me! Please! They'll hurt me again!" She shrieked as she thrashed around in Steve's arms.

This was one of the many moments that Steve thanked his super-soldier reflexes as he quickly caught a grip on Maria and held her tightly as she kicked and screamed, hastily whispering comforting word into her ear, eventually calming the fragile woman back into her tremor-ridden, whimpering state.

_Whoever did this to Maria has hell to pay. _With this Steve suddenly surprised himself. Never had he ever caught himself thinking like this… This wasn't the good-natured man who only wanted safety and peace… this was something else, a darker side he himself never knew existed, stirred to life by Maria Hill's suffering.

Tony, Clint and Natasha must have heard them coming because the three quickly ran over and formed a sort of body barrier around the two, weapons drawn and eyes darting around them alertly.

"We gotta go. They'll be sending more." Clint whispered, making Maria clutch tight at Steve's uniform, her movement squeezing more blood onto it.

They all nodded silently before taking off the direction they had arrived, Garcia directing them to the exit through their ears while Bruce and Jane announced a waiting flight nearby in the foothills beyond the base. Medics at the ready back as well.

"You're safe now Maria. You're going to be alright. I'll make sure of it. Just calm down, you're safe, you're safe, sweetheart." Steve whispered to the now sobbing woman in his arms as he dashed away from the HYDRA base and safely into the forest beyond.

_She'll recover completely. She'll be okay. And those bastards will pay. I'll make sure of it. No one does this and gets away with it…_

_Safe! Safe! She's safe! *baseball umpire* Safe! I hope you guys enjoyed it! This chapter was a pain in the ass to make .-._

_Maxine_


	7. Chapter 6

_**Happy Late Easter? I kinda forgot to mention that last time .-. But I remember now! Enjoy this early update!**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Dislaimer: I do not own the Avengers**_

**Kiev, Ukraine**

**April 28, 2014 3:23am**

**SHIELD Quinjet**

Maria managed to stay quiet the entire trek towards the hidden quinjet in the forest beyond the HYDRA Prisoner base, clutching at Steve's uniform with trembling fingers and keeping her eyes tightly shut, the earlier sobbing coming to an abrupt stop. He honestly didn't know whether to be relieved or worried about it.

But the moment that he relinquished his hold on her to the medics waiting in the aircraft, Maria completely lost the quiet state she had been in. Her eyes suddenly snapping open and darting around wildly before she let out an ear-splitting yowl and begun to tear and swing at the three medics who had begun to strap her down onto the waiting gurney.

"You seem to be the only person she recognizes right now, Steve. Keep your hand on her." Natasha called towards him as she strapped herself in next to Tony who already sat in one of the passenger seats, reporting back to the Triskelion quietly. Clint quickly made his way over to the co-pilot seat, nodding a greeting towards the SHIELD pilot before strapping in as well.

"Maria, please calm down. They're only trying to help," Steve whispered as he clasped his hand into the wailing woman's, squeezing reassuringly, "I'll be right here the entire time, no worries."

With that the quinjet rumbled to life and quickly began to lift into the air, lurching everyone to the side slightly.

"My question is how she's still alive…" One of the medics muttered to the other as they quickly assessed Maria's injuries, already beginning to clean out some of the cuts and bandage them.

Steve grimaced at this and looked back at Maria who had shut her eyes tightly again, squeezing Steve's hand and grimacing as they prodded her and checked her. _Only her sheer will could have kept her alive at this point…_

"Hurts.." The frail woman finally unclasped her teeth and spoke about halfway into the journey, still keeping her eyes closed, hand clenching at Steve's.

Steve opened his mouth to try and comfort her but was interrupted by Tony speaking up, followed quickly by a panicked strain from Maria.

"Can't you guys just pump some morphine into her?! She's hurting!" Tony called out to the medics in annoyance.

"We were just about to begin the drip, her injuries are very numerous and it was better to get to work on those first and stem the blood loss." One of the field doctors spoke up in response, voice and expression completely void of emotion, all business.

With that, the second medic pushed a needle into Maria's arm, the other holding up a bag of morphine drip over their heads.

But Steve suddenly remembered Maria's mental state and he moved to stop them.

"Wait," Steve lunged forward to stop the needle but it was already too late, it had already pricked her skin and Maria had already lashed out, tearing at the air where the medic's face had just been jerked back in surprise.

"Shh! It's alright! They're trying to help!" Steve lunged out, easily catching her free hand and grasping it tightly, thankful that her other arm and legs had been secured down.

"Noo!" She whimpered in response, shaking her head, tears streaming from her closed eyes and again, her body began to shake with sobs.

Steve nodded to the medics and they carefully continued on, only a few minutes later, having Maria nod off into a morphine-induced sleep,

The scene before them suddenly gave the watching Avengers an incredible urge to return to that compound and burn it and its occupants to the ground.

Natasha stared on with a stony, narrow-eyed look, Tony openly bristled and Clint punched at buttons and growled out conversation at the front of the plane. Steve sat next to the lieutenant's gurney, clutching at her hand and rubbing it gently with his thumb, saying nothing but thinking the most violent thoughts he probably had ever thought about.

_ No doubt we're coming back _Steve thought as he looked around at his companions. Never had he seen everyone so protective over Maria. Yes she was just the Avengers Liaison, and it always seemed that she was just that to everyone except for him. But he never thought that they would go this far for her…

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 19, 2014 7:23pm**

**SHIELD Triskelion Medical Wing**

_Three weeks._ It had been three weeks that she hadn't woken up since the morphine on the quinjet knocked her out.

Tony and Thor had gone ballistic, Thor claiming that it was actually poison and Tony saying that the medics had overdosed her. But they ended their rage when it was explained that her injuries had ended up being too much for Maria to handle at the time and she went out.

Natasha, Clint and Bruce came by every so often to check up on her. Natasha lending a hand to the nurses with all of Maria's care needs. Bruce keeping a close eye on her vitals and her healing, even double checking all of the work that the doctors had been doing.

Clint had been coming in and singing to Maria, talking with her as if she were listening intently, which she probably was somewhere through her sleeping haze managing to catch his gentle words. Weaving and telling tales of his days in the circus, funny mishaps and the entire sort.

Thor had hastily returned from Asgard upon the arrival of the messenger agent sent by the Avengers. Clearly worried for Maria since he had also brought back Asgardian healing stones with him. These had eventually become handy in helping speed the process of her two horribly infected bullet wounds.

Darcy Lewis and Pepper showered Maria with gifts like stuffed animals, and flowers and balloons, as well as Pepper's own gifts like clothes and office decorations, eventually making her recovery room into nothing but color and fluff.

Fury came by three times from HQ, just to see if she was okay and healing, even managing to the scare the doctors and nurses with his many questions and glares. The normally stoic and serious director managing to prove everyone wrong of the emotionless demeanor rumors by even bringing Maria a bouquet of flowers. Cheap, City-Market things, but meaningful nonetheless.

Phil was probably the worst off next to Steve, visiting everyday when he had time. Speaking quiet reassurances to her or just sitting and staring at her, lost in thought. The man was probably as worried as Steve at seeing his former SHIELD trainee in such a horrible state.

And it all still surprised Steve how all of his teammates had chosen to stay in D.C. with him and Maria rather than fly back to the Avengers Tower in New York.

Maria lay quietly and peacefully through it all.

And Steve never left Maria's bedside. Always watching over her, clutching at her hand whenever he could. Though that was more for his own comfort and reassurance, being able to feel the warmness of her hand and know she was alive.

He had even taken the time to fully notice how much her appearance had changed. Her skin had taken up a paler and more haggard look, her cheekbones and collarbones protruded in a rather unhealthy way. The shadows under her eyes were so dark it seemed like they would never go away.

She looked like a woman who had been depending on nothing but her own sheer will to keep herself together.

He was even there when her heart stopped during one of her three surgeries, looking through the glass and banging on it in a panic to know if she was okay or not. It had turned out that her blood loss had already been too severe and the adding of surgeries wasn't helping in any way.

The doctors managed to save her, a great relief to everyone, but an unfortunate one for Maria, according to Tony. "They should have let her die; she's been through enough already." Tony had muttered.

So after the first surgery to fix her shattered ribs, they had many blood transfusions after the next two to fix her shattered leg and arm.

Steve later began to feel selfish afterwards; wanting Maria alive and having her suffer through all of the surgeries and medications and everything to have it. _Tony's probably right…_

But through it all, everyone stayed with her, one way or another.

All Maria could see was darkness.

She saw nothing and felt nothing.

All she could do was hear…

And she listened intently, reassured with what she heard from the Captain.

She knew she was alive, she knew that Steve was there, protecting her.

She heard all of the others' mutters and stories and pleads.

But paranoia gripped Maria so strongly, that she just couldn't believe a word that they were saying, seemingly only trusting Steve's word…

"Please wake up, Maria…" She heard Steve's voice mutter softly.

_I'm trying! But this sleep is keeping me under! I can't!_

How badly she wanted to wake up, to come back to Steve and reassure him that she was okay.

But with waking up came facing the Avengers…

They would hurt her again once she was awake.

And it would come worse this time.

She couldn't wake up.

This dark place, where she couldn't feel or see, it was better than having to face _them_ again.

But somehow, deep inside, Maria knew that this fear was irrational.

How wrong she was to think she was okay…

_Try to move _She commanded herself one day, attempting to move her arm, but it didn't feel comfortable, it seemed detached, floating someplace else.

"Maria?" She heard Steve mutter her name in the distance again, a hint of hope laced through it.

_It's working, keeping moving_

Maria tried her left leg, finding that this one felt heavy and even more detached than anything else.

"I think she's waking up!" The lieutenant heard the distant voice of Darcy Lewis exclaim in excitement.

_Fear her_ A dark voice twisted its way into her floating ears, prompting Maria to begin to fear Darcy Lewis. For what she had no idea, Darcy had never even touched her.

_You shouldn't_ She argued with herself, inciting confusion then. She chose to ignore this notion for now and focus on the task at hand.

_Keep moving, try your lips _Maria twitched her lips, earning another whispered response of encouragement from Steve.

_Eyes? _

A bright light suddenly flooded her vision, completely banishing that comfortable darkness she had just been in.

"Erm…" Her croaked groan sounded louder now.

And slowly, Maria began to feel her body and physical senses swim back to her in the white haze.

She lifted a heavy hand to cover up the lights above her, only to have it thump harshly onto her forehead, something hard and bulky clash onto her head with it. _An arm cast?_

"Maria, you're okay. Here, close your eyes, I'll go- Darcy, can you turn off the lights?" Steve's smooth, careful voice suddenly filled her ears as her arm was lifted off her forehead and set back on her side.

A few seconds later, the lights were dimmed down and Maria could fully open her eyes, taking in first the large silhouette of Steve Rogers sitting by her bed. And afterwards, his slightly blurry but gentle and relieved features.

Then she turned her head around slowly, taking in the room, as well as the woman who stood at the end of her bed, smiling at her warmly.

_Darcy Lewis never hurt me. _

And she finally concluded that she was indeed in a SHIELD recovery room, surrounded by mountains of stuffed animals, balloons and candy.

A basketball-sized, grey and purple, stuffed fox sat on Maria's lap, inviting her to touch it and squeeze it.

"Maria? Are you feeling okay? Does anything hurt?" Steve's quiet voice sounded again, distracting Maria from her task of reaching forward and grabbing the plushie. She shifted around slightly, testing out her limbs and shaking her head slightly, finding that she indeed didn't feel any pain. _Probably those drugs they've been pumping me full of._

Stretching her arms forward seemed to have already tired her out and she slumped back onto her pillow with a tired huff, prompting Darcy to come forward and hand Maria the fox.

_Talk!_

She turned to Steve and opened her mouth to talk, but nothing came out, she quickly turned back to the stuffed animal and ran her fingers through its soft fur, nodding her head slightly in response to Steve.

"I'll go get a nurse." Darcy's voice surprised Maria, making her jump and tense in practiced defense.

Darcy looked down at Maria apologetically before making her way quietly out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Steve watched Maria carefully, seeming to be weighing around her mental state. _It's not good._

"If you want to, we'll talk later. Right now they're probably going to change your clothes; I'll be out in the hallway." Steve spoke again before standing up slowly and beginning to make his way out of the room, an uncertain shape to his features.

Fear suddenly gripped Maria tightly and she yelped out to Steve, trying to rip off the bed sheets that had been tucked snugly at her sides. _Don't leave me!_

Steve turned back in alarm and returned to the woman's bedside in two long strides, reaching for her hand and gripping it tightly. "It's okay, sweetheart. Here- okay, okay. I'll stay, right here. Won't let go."

At his touch, Maria felt a strong sense of safety wash over her and she slumped back tired against the large pillow at her back again.

Steve pulled up his chair and sat in it again as Darcy and a nurse made their way into the dark room quietly, Darcy pulling her finger up to her mouth.

"Hello. I see your awake now," the nurse clicked up to the bed, the sound of her heels pounding painfully against Maria's ears, "it's been three weeks." She whispered through her heel clicking. _Like it'll make a difference._

The woman leaned forward at the station of monitors and machines next to Maria's bed, writing down notes on the clipboard she carried with her, and tapping at the touch screens next to the machines. After a minute, she finally straightened up, giving them all a gentle smile.

"Well her vitals seem in perfect condition, I'll go speak to Dr. Arlington and see if Hill waking up affects her release to the Tower tomorrow." With that the nurse wrote down one last thing on her clipboard and clicked out of the room.

_Release? _Maria looked over at Steve, confusion written across her face.

Steve smiled at her warmly, "Your condition has been doing nothing but improving these past few weeks. So they were planning on releasing you from here and sending you out to the Avengers Tower back in New York, into the care of…. Another doctor." Steve hesitated at the mention of the doctor, sending a glance at Darcy before continuing.

_I've been out long if I'm already being released. _But at the mention of the Tower, Maria grimaced and shook her head so hard she felt slightly dizzy afterwards.

Her breathing already began to come out short in panic and she gripped at the plushie in her hands, digging her nails into its fabric and shaking her head hard again. _No No No! Living with them?! It'll only be too easy to kill me in my state. No!_

Steve reached forward and ran a hand through Maria's hair reassuringly, whispering comforts towards her over and over.

"No… Av-vengers…" Maria's voice came out scratchy and barely even recognizable as she shook.

Steve nodded as he squeezed her hand, "Okay okay. No Avengers. You won't stay at the Tower. I'll keep them away from you," He whispered again as Darcy stared on with a grimace.

"Y-you won't stay with them…" Steve expression hardened into a thinking one before he finally continued, "You'll stay with me."

Maria couldn't be happier at hearing that. She nodded once in relief, hugging the fox to her chest with her casted arm and clutching Steve's with the other.

The feeling of the cast on her arm suddenly alerted Maria to the rest of her injured body.

She looked down slowly and caught sight of the large cast on her lower leg, as well as the round bulge of bandages under her borrowed shirt.

Maria let go of the fox and lifted her shirt, straining forward to see the long, white bandage that wrapped around her chest.

"Shattered leg and arm, dislocated shoulder and 11 shattered ribs." It was Darcy who spoke, listing out Maria's major injuries in a quiet and gentle tone, her face set in a serious expression.

"You're heart stopped while they fixed your ribs," Steve spoke up, his expression suddenly forlorn and almost broken, "too much blood loss."

Never had Maria been so grateful for her life than at that moment.

She reached forward then, releasing Steve's hand and lifting it slowly to his face, rubbing her thumb into his cheek reassuringly. _It's only fair if I give something back to him, he's been nothing but selfless to me._

A few moments passed before the door opened again and in stepped the nurse from before and another woman. Taller, slimmer, dark hair, and deep green eyes, emotionless expression. _Dr. Arlington. _This woman Maria immediately recognized as her assigned SHIELD Doctor, responsible for anything and basically everything Maria did that required medical attention.

She recalled to mind the aftermath of the Poland mission. Maria had woken up in the hospital to Dr. Arlington's green, calculating eyes staring down at her. That moment had been the one to determine that Maria wanted to keep this doctor close, she was purely professional, no emotions involved in her work, all business and quick to get necessary things done. Just like Maria herself. And so the two had agreed to make Arlington Maria's officially assigned medical call.

"So you're awake, Hill," She spoke in an even tone as she made her way towards the monitor again, taking notes like the nurse had.

"Everything seems to be in good shape for someone who's been beaten into a pulp and had her heart stop." Dr. Arlington stated as she tapped around on a touch screen.

"I think you'll be able to leave to the Tower tomorrow, considering how this last night goes." She continued with a small smile towards Maria.

"A-about that…" Steve spoke up then, releasing Maria's hand and standing up to face the doctor. He motioned for her to step outside of the room with him before motioning Darcy over to Maria.

Darcy quickly strided over and took Maria's hand with a smile as he and the doctor walked out of the room for a bit.

Maria squeezed on Darcy's hand tightly as she kept her eyes trained on the door, awaiting Steve's arrival with no patience already.

"S'alright Maria. You'll be staying with Steve; I'll force it to happen if Doctor No Emotion decides not to let you." Darcy muttered reassuringly as she stared at the door with Maria, the plump, blonde nurse standing awkwardly to the side.

Maria let a smile escape towards Darcy. _Yeah I like her._

And moments later, Steve walked back in with a smile, followed by a skeptical-looking Dr. Arlington.

"Alright Lieutenant Hill, if it's no problem, you'll be staying with Captain Rogers at his apartment here in D.C. for the remainder of your recovery." The dark-haired woman spoke up quietly.

Maria nodded at the doctor, clutching the fox in one hand and Darcy's hand in the other.

"But we also have to take into consideration how your first conscious night goes." Arlington objected as she wrote a note down on her clipboard.

_It'll go good._

"I hope it really isn't any trouble for you to stay with me." Steve spoke up after a long silence, later that evening when the two were left alone in the colorful recovery room, Maria already beginning to nod off.

"As long as… it's just me and… you." Maria rasped out her response, straining her sore throat.

Steve smiled slightly before leaning forward and resting his head on his arm at the edge of Maria's bed.

She ran her hand through his hair gently, thousands of thoughts racing through her feverish mind, too much for her to handle.

_This isn't going to be easy at all. _

That was the last thought she had before finally nodding off.

_**Till next time! By the way, I'm going to start giving shoutouts to my loyal readers now since I'm absolutely enjoying your reviews(: **_

_**StardustOwl – Love how invested you are into the story(:**_

_**Boysmom5 – Thanks for the tips and encouragement!**_

_**Flaming Crow – I enjoy your entertaining reviews! (:**_

_**Maxine**_


	8. Chapter 7

_**Sorry for the late update! I was a bit busy yesterday! But here is! Hope you like it.**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 20, 2014 5:33pm**

**SHIELD Transport SUV**

Steve snuck a glance over at the woman who sat to his right. Watched her teeth dig into her bottom lip, her eyes dart around the car in a nervous haze, watched her hands clench and unclench on her stuffed animal and his hand, he watched the trembling rack her entire body.

The two sat in the back of a black, SHIELD-issued SUV, headed towards Steve's own apartment located only half an hour away from the Triskelion. The night at SHIELD Medical had gone quietly and safely, earning Maria the freedom of moving to Steve's apartment.

But not without Dr. Arlington's strict rest and care orders, and long lecture on how to execute those things efficiently as well.

"You're okay." Steve leaned toward Maria slightly and whispered comfortingly into her ear, earning nothing but a shake of her head and a nail into his finger.

Steve pulled back and quickly busied himself with directing the driver towards the right apartment building once they reached his street. Wanting to distract himself from thinking too deeply about what thoughts could be running through Maria's head at the moment.

Later, Steve and Maria found themselves standing in the middle of his living room, Steve holding onto Maria's bags and Maria gnawing at her nails, casted arm clutching the fox to her side.

"Here we are. Sorry it's a little chilly, I had trouble figuring out how to turn on the heater a few days ago and I eventually had to call a friend in to figure it out for me." Steve remarked, rubbing at his neck nervously. _Bruce._

Maria gave a slight twitch of her lips but said nothing, only beginning to hobble around his living room, taking everything in.

Tony had taken it upon himself to design Steve's apartment. So as usual, he had tried to go big, but Steve had managed to get his own opinion in there.

The living room was painted a gentle shade of ivory with large windows accented with deep brown curtains. It had and open, old-fashioned feel to it.

The large brown, leather couch sat against the far wall, accented by the simple, dark wooden floor and a plain black rug. A small, wooden coffee table stood in front of the couch followed by a large, flat screen TV hanging on the opposite wall. _Don't even use it._

He looked down worriedly at the boot she wore on her left leg, expecting it to catch on something and hurtle her to the ground, considering how she walked with it so unsteadily.

"Would you like a tour?" He suggested, already beginning to lead the way towards the small hallway that lead to his one bedroom and the bathroom.

Maria nodded once, managing to finally draw blood out of one of her fingers as she began to limp towards him.

Steve hurriedly turned his gaze away from her gait, noting how Maria's usually graceful walk had been impaired by the boot. _God dammit._

"Kitchen," The Captain motioned across the hallway to an equally old-fashioned kitchen. It contained intricately carved, dark-wood, upper and lower cabinets with black marble acting as the counters which ran along the entire length of the wall, containing a sink and dishwasher. To the right of it all sat a large silver and black refrigerator against the right wall.

And situated in the middle of the kitchen was a large dark wooden dining table with six, black cushioned chairs surrounding its swirl-carved legs. Where the centerpiece belonged was a simple black teapot and six black teacups and saucers surrounding it in a circle. A small electric candle chandelier hung above it, adding to the old-time atmosphere of the apartment.

"Bathroom," Steve opened the door to a pristine white bathroom with black, marble floor and grey wall tiling and motioned towards the black floored shower with a light grey curtain and glass door before closing the door and lifting his hand to the door at the end of the hallway.

"You'll be staying in here." Steve opened the dark, wooden door to the one large bedroom in the apartment. This room had a grey, white and black design, nicely accented by the wooden floor. It held a large, queen-sized bed with a white comforter and a dark grey chest at the end.

The black and grey pillows leaned against a long, grey headboard and shelved, white wall, the wall and ceiling above it was a soft, dark grey. Two small, grey bedside tables sat on each side of the bed with squared, black lamps. And everything was brung together nicely with the large, open window on the right wall, long grey curtains hanging on each side of it.

As his gaze swept over the room, he caught sight of the large duffle bag that sat next to the door, a post-it note stuck on top of it. Written on with a certain archer's neat print.

_Remember, bag of M&M's, Rogers. - CB_

Steve smiled at the note, remembering how he had bribed Clint into packing his things from the tower and bringing them to his apartment with a bag of M&M's.

Steve just hadn't wanted to leave Maria alone while he flew all the way out to New York to get his things, and risk her injuring herself or someone else.

"Sorry if it's a little extravagant, Tony put himself in charge of designing it." He continued, walking forward and resting Maria's duffle bags onto the large bed.

The skinny woman leaned against the doorframe, staring at Steve with wide, unsure, blue eyes and clutching at her injured ribs, wrapped in a thick, white bandage. Her breathes suddenly began to come in short gasps then and she clutched at the door frame tightly, turning her knuckles pale and making the grey plushie fox fall to the ground.

Steve strided forward and grabbed onto Maria's elbows, guiding the woman towards the bed and easing her down onto it.

"You want to take a nap? You seem really tired, Maria." He muttered, pulling the fluffy comforter and fuzzy sheets underneath away from their tucked position.

The lieutenant nodded slowly and allowed the Captain to pick her up gently and set her under the covers, smoothing down a pillow behind her.

He sat on the edge of the bed until Maria's breathing finally slowed and she closed her eyes, drifting into a fitful sleep.

"Okay." The Captain stood up slowly and ran his hands over his face before heading over to his bag and carrying it out into the hallway and throwing it into the sliding closet on the opposite wall to the bathroom. _I'm in charge of taking care of her… Of making sure she comes back the strong woman she used to be… _The realization of his task hit Steve like a train and he stood up taller, decidedly determined to complete this task.

Around an hour later Steve stood at the window, staring out at the many buildings and busy streets of Washington D.C. _Have to go get supplies _He remembered, earlier having checked that all of the cupboards and refrigerator were empty.

"How could Barton have done it?" Maria's weak voice suddenly floated up from the covers she had burrowed into earlier, turning her empty gaze from the wall towards Steve, "I don't know what to do, it's like they erased everything and all I have left is the time in that room."

Steve turned around and spoke with a steady tone, surprising himself, "We'll take it slowly, and figure things out as they come."

"But I don't know how to start," She whimpered, "When you go back to SHIELD and I'm left alone with this, I won't-" Her scraped tone died off as the tears started. Maria's frail body folded in on itself as she attempted to keep control before descending into cracked sobs.

And with two long strides towards the bed, he had her in his arms, cradling her body to his as he rocked her. She didn't fight it, as he expected, only leaned into him, like he was the only thing holding her together.

The woman he had only known for two years was every SHIELD agents' fear, fierce and determined; it almost brought Steve himself to tears to see her so broken and frail now.

Unable to give her anything that would ease the painful thoughts and memories. He could only give her words, as comforting and reassuring as he could. "I won't be going anywhere, Maria," He murmured, "I'm here, its okay."

And when she finally managed to regain her composure, she pulled back and looked up at Steve, her tired eyes now red and puffy, gave him a grateful look.

Then she cleared her throat abruptly and pulled away, "I'll be cleaning up," She announced, as she straightened up and limped over to her bag for supplies and clothes, Steve feeling his fist clench in hate towards the men who had been responsible for this normally strong and determined woman's breakdown.

"D-do you need any help?" Steve spoke up nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the situation but still holding on to his polite helpfulness.

He remembered what Dr. Arlington had said about clean-up, no actual showers or baths yet because of her casts, only a tub of water and some shampoo with a sponge and rag. Steve just wasn't sure if Maria could do it all without tiring out or breaking down again.

Maria sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, shaking her head slightly before continuing down the hallway and into the bathroom without a word.

An hour and a half had passed and Steve began to worry. _Shouldn't she have been done long ago?_

And before he knew it, he found himself jumping off the couch and knocking on the bathroom door. He was answered with a choked sob a few moments later, and he didn't hesitate to swing open the door and enter the fairly large bathroom in search of Maria.

"Maria?" Again he was answered with another strained sob and he pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Maria sitting on the black marble, sobbing silently with her legs pulled up tightly by her arms.

Her blood swirled down into the drain with the spilled water from the tub, Maria staring at it, practically petrified with fear. _Dammit._

"S-teve…" Maria managed out his name but not without a gurgled struggle. She looked up at him, a blank look in her shadowed eyes as she peeled at the many scabs and stitched that her body had, creating sources for the blood flow.

Here he finally got a good look at what had been done to her. He saw the angry red marks and bruises on the delicate skin of her wrists and ankles from where she had been tied. The finger-sized bruises and marks, spelling out exactly what her captors had done to her. The long and short cuts now scabbed up or stitched up. The bullet holes in her skin puckered into tender scars from Thor's healing stones, the infection still slightly evident around them but healing.

Maria didn't need to explain what had happened, it was all explained and displayed right there on her skin. That was the moment that Steve decided to go out and end each and every one of those men's lives, no doubt with the help of the Avengers.

"God, Maria." He muttered as he reached for one of the black towels that hung on a rack nearby, carefully gathering the woman in his arms and carrying her straight to the bedroom where she immediately curled in on herself and began to rack her body with tired and frustrated sobs.

Steve gathered the petite woman in his arms and held her to him, noticing how easily she fit in his arms, as if she belonged there.

"It's alright, its okay," He whispered into her ear as she dug her nails into his neck, feeling it right through his T-shirt, "You're safe. I'm here, let it out, it's alright, sweetheart."

When her cries quieted into small hiccups a few minutes later, Steve let go of her and sat her up on the edge of the bed, leaving her to change in privacy.

And while he waited, he quickly made his way to the kitchen, pulling off the teapot and two cups from his dining table before beginning to make peppermint tea. Steve remembered that peppermint tea always seemed to calm him after every mission or under any stress, so he decided to make some for Maria, hoping that it could bring her some comfort.

He came back to find that Maria had changed into one of the many large Captain America sweatshirts that Darcy had given him and a pair of baggy sweatpants with the SHIELD emblem stuck on the side.

Steve smiled slightly then when he noticed how long the sleeves extended away from her hands, and watched her struggle with them for a moment unable to hide an amused smile.

After a moment, Maria paused from her sleeve-rolling and looked up at Steve with a spark of that old Lieutenant Hill annoyance in her blue eyes. "Help." Her voice was raw from crying, but nonetheless held that SHIELD Commander authority, causing Steve's breath to hitch slightly in his throat. _There's the woman that I fell for._

"Okay." He breathed, walking forward and setting the cups of tea on the bedside table before taking the long sleeves in his hand and easily rolling them up and over her left cast, leaving her hands free.

She gave him a small smile in return as she begun to reach for the tea on the table, only to be stopped by Steve's hand.

"Tucked in bed first." His brows furrowed together in concern as he slid the woman backwards and against a pillow, then pulling up the covers and comforter around her lower body.

The two sat in silence then, quietly sipping the tea and Steve watching in relief as her trembling began to dissipate as she warmed up.

"Alright then, I'll be sleeping on the couch if you need me.." He stood up later, stretching out his arms as he took the teacup from Maria to take to the kitchen.

"No!" Her raw voice cried out to Steve suddenly and her hand launched out, quickly clenching onto his wrist and tugging him back.

"Stay, please." Her wide, icy eyes stared up at him, pleading Steve to stay with her. Though he didn't know why Maria even wanted a man that close to her after her ordeal.

"Alright, let me just change out." Maria seemed satisfied and he was allowed out to the bathroom with some sweatpants to change out of his damp clothing. He just hoped that she wouldn't mind him shirtless, as he usually slept, the super-soldier serum running his body heat higher than normal.

Steve returned quickly to the bedroom after changing out and putting the teacups in the kitchen for cleaning, quickly lifting the covers and settling himself next to Maria.

"Thank you," Her quiet voice floated up through the darkness and Steve stiffened slightly in surprise as Maria shuffled her way across the bed and in between his arm and body, resting her head on his shoulder. _Deputy Director Maria Hill would never in a million years do this… Why could she suddenly be finding such a dependence on me? She has always rejected any approach I've made towards her._

He watched as she stared hollowly at the ceiling, her cheeks visibly puffy from her earlier tears even in the dark. He hugged her closer as she leaned slightly into the warmth of his skin, "You're okay." He whispered nuzzling his chin slightly into her hair comfortingly.

And not even five minutes later, he began to hear her soft snores cut through the stillness of the room and he finally let himself fall asleep with a satisfied smile, deciding not to think about what had been happening between them before. And only focus on the present mission, which was fixing Maria Hill.

_**Till next week!(:**_

_**Maxine**_


	9. Chapter 8

_**Thanks for the reviews guys, it's nice to know that I've got loyal readers and people who love this story! So without further ado…**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers/:**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 21, 2014 4:34am**

**Captain Rogers's SHIELD Issued Apartment**

Steve was roughly jostled into consciousness by a hard kick in the chest, immediately sending the half-asleep soldier into coughing fit. And only afterwards did he finally remember that there was another occupant in his bed, still asleep but flailing around under the blankets, her eyes shooting around frantically beneath her closed eyelids.

"Maria," Steve balanced up on one elbow and looked down at the dreaming woman who had tensed up at that moment, grasping desperately at the sheets around her.

He stared down at her for a moment, unsure of whether to wake her up or not. Of course he didn't want her to stay any longer in her own head, but he also didn't want to wake her abruptly, no doubt that would incite violence or panic in her half-asleep state.

"Maria, sweetheart, wake up," Steve slowly reached over and laid his hand gently onto the woman's shoulder, deciding to try and wake her up slowly. But touching her was obviously the wrong choice since the moment he touched Maria, she tensed up in her sleep and arced her back off the bed, letting out a startled yelp before her eyes shot open and she twisted around, locking pale blue, panic-stricken, eyes with his own.

And before he knew it, the woman's uninjured fist had connected with Steve's jaw, pitching his head into the pillow below him. He grunted in slight pain as it lasted only a few seconds, quickly fading into a throb. Then the captain quickly sat up, ready to pin Maria down so not to let her hurt herself or him any further, but she had already fully woken up, realizing what she had done.

"Oh Steve!" Maria's rasped tone sounded out, quiet and distressed as she stared up at Steve wide-eyed, "God, I'm sorry!" She whimpered immediately reaching over and flipping on the lamp next to the bed.

"I'm fine, Maria," He whispered in reply, scooting back on the bed to let the woman sit up, only to have her move closer towards him and begin to trail her small fingers over the forming bruise along his jaw.

She didn't say anything, only prodding the bruise gently, no doubt mentally calculating how bad it was. And Steve let her worry over him, wanting to distract the lieutenant from thinking about what she had been dreaming about. As he watched, Steve noticed Maria's eyes had begun to shine with tears, probably on the verge of another breakdown… but it never happened…

"It'll heal in a bit," Steve smiled reassuringly at Maria, taking her hand and squeezing it, "Super-soldier, remember?" At this, Maria smiled uneasily and let her hand fall from his grip before scooting back against the pillows.

"You're not going back to sleep." Steve stated rather than questioned, judging from the troubled look in her eyes, she wouldn't be going to sleep anymore.

Maria looked up and shook her head, an apologetic smile gracing her features, "You go back to sleep, Steve. You really need it anyway," She whispered as she began to roll the sleeves of the hoodie down and over her hands.

Steve only shook his head and slid to the end of the bed, running his hands through his hair before glancing back at the digital clock on the bedside table. _4:40am _

"Steve, I don't want to go back to SHIELD," Maria suddenly spoke up, a hint of distress lacing her quiet tone as she spoke, "I-it's too much…" She finished as she picked at one of the Velcro straps on her boot distractedly.

He shook his head at that. _No, she'll have to go back. For the medical. Soon. _This worried him, especially since the check-up medical that Dr. Arlington had planned was three weeks away. _Could Maria be okay by then? _Steve looked over at Maria then, she had begun to tremble again as she struggled to climb out of the bed covers, slowly, but surely untangling her booted leg from the fluffy comforter. _She will be, she's basically the strongest woman I've ever met next to Natasha._

"So what would you like to do? We could go out somewhere?" He smiled slightly over at Maria, earning a grimace at his suggestion. "Right, right, okay. We'll stay here for today," Steve thought for a moment before looking back up at Maria with a grin, "How about we have one of those… lazy days. Darcy told me about it, we sit around and watch movies together."

This earned Steve a slight smile and a nod from Maria as she tentatively stood up and stretched her arms into the air. "Okay."

And though it was still dark out, the dim lamp light and city lights illuminating through the grey window curtains still let Steve see Maria's features. Dark shadows still ruled the skin under her eyes, and they would for days until she established some sort of good sleeping pattern. Her cheekbones still stood out in an unhealthy way, but nonetheless beginning to develop a livelier and less pale color, and the finger-sized bruises still sat on her neck, darker and uglier in the dim lighting.

He fought to hide his reaction to those bruises, choosing to clench his fists and focus on that. He could take out his anger in the gym another day, not right now.

But Maria didn't fight to hide her reaction to the new bruise along Steve's jaw, grimacing apologetically as her eyes raked over his features. "Steve you look horrible," She whispered, "you haven't slept, your eyes... That bruise. I'm so sorry." Just like he had taken her in, Maria had been staring at him too, calculating his disheveled and tired state as well.

Steve only gave her a "are you for real?" look, shaking his head, "You're saying I'm looking bad." He muttered before standing up and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "I guess I could call Darcy to bring some breakfast, she's in D.C. for some project with Jane Foster and I know she'd be more than happy to help out."

Maria didn't reply, only limped towards the door clumsily and out into the living room, Steve following closely behind while pulling on a white t-shirt from his drawer. "What would you like?" He asked before reaching for the simple black flip phone that Pepper had given him, followed by a quick lesson on how to work the calling and texting. Steve at first had some trouble figuring it out, but fairly got the hang of it after a while.

The thin woman only shrugged after plopping down onto the soft couch, only looking up at Steve with a slightly shy look, "C-could you make some m-more of that tea?" Her speech was slightly broken by the trembling she had accumulated in the last few minutes.

Steve nodded quickly before dashing back to the bedroom and dragging one of the soft and warm blankets from the bed to cover Maria with, and as he walked out of the room, Steve caught sight of the grey and purple stuffed fox that she had brought back from the hospital on the ground.

"Here." He tossed the blanket up and around Maria, the woman giving him a grateful glance as she clutched it around her shoulders before reaching for the fox in Steve's hands, immediately clutching it to herself when he handed it to her.

And around an hour and a half later, there was a knock on the door followed by a smiling Darcy standing at the doorway with an IHOP bag when Steve opened it. "Here's your breakfast and that ice cream you wanted- What the hell happened to your face!?" Darcy held out the bag of food before she caught sight of Steve's face and her eyes bugged out in surprise.

"Thanks Darcy. Um, wake up mishap. Here come in." Steve took the bag from Darcy and moved out of the way for her to enter with a sheepish explanation.

"Nah, I can't stay long, Jane wanted me at the Triskelion for some project her and the SHIELD scientists are working on. I have no idea why they would even want me this early, or why they're even awake right now," The woman stepped in as she spoke and wiped her feet on the mat, "But I'd like to check in with her." She continued as her eyes scanned the extravagant apartment for Maria.

"Hello." A quiet voice spoke up from the couch and Darcy turned to find Maria looking up at her with a wide, slightly unsure gaze.

"Oh, hey Ria. How've you been doing?" Darcy lowered her voice slightly as she settled herself on the coffee table in front of the lieutenant with her usual, laid-back, goofy smile. It seemed so familiar that it didn't take long for a memory of Remi wearing that same smile ran itself into Steve's head. _God dammit, not right now. _The captain dug his teeth into his lip and forced the thought out of his head, opting to head into the kitchen and begin to prepare tea for the three of them.

And around an hour later, Darcy was already leaving, having accomplished the task of getting Maria to quickly warm up to her. She hadn't once mentioned anything that had to do with what happened, only sitting next to Maria on the couch and telling her about her apparently very clumsy and funny life. One of these stories included a failed safari trip with Jane where a lion had begun to follow and growl at the tour jeep when Darcy had teased the animal with popcorn. This had caused a small, amused smile to creep onto Maria's face as she took small sips of her tea, Steve feeling a large wave of relief as Maria finally relaxed fully since the moment she woke up.

"She's got an interesting life doesn't she?" Steve asked with a gentle smile as he set up to take-out pancakes on the dining table, Maria shooting him a slow nod as she pushed herself off of the couch.

"Alright, about that lazy day," Steve started off conversation after a long, comfortable silence of eating, "according to my sources, which is Darcy, there's a lot of movies and ice cream involved." He continued as he set down his fork and knife, already having finished before Maria.

She only stared curiously at his empty plate. "You eat quickly, Steve." She muttered looking at him with the same expression.

Steve felt his face flush slightly at this, "Ah, well I... I'm not really able to overload on food anymore, or fill completely." He rubbed sheepishly at his neck.

Maria only gave him a thoughtful smile before focusing back to pushing her pancakes around the plate sluggishly, taking small bites but nonetheless eating, and that was also a big relief to Steve. _So much progress so far… But the Avengers…_

With a nod Steve stood up from the table and took his plate to the sink to be washed later, then he walked into the living room to get a look on what modern movies his teammates had supplied him with to catch him up to speed on the new society. And upon opening the TV cabinet, he caught a glimpse of Lion King, Ted(courtesy of Tony and Clint), The Beauty and the Beast, the Avengers Battle of Manhattan remake that had been made after the actual battle, The Fox and The Hound and more Disney movies than any other kinds of movies.

"Um, I've got quite a few Disney movies, I hope that doesn't bother you, Maria." The super-soldier was answered with an already all-too-familiar soft whimper coming from the kitchen, and no sooner had he heard it, he was already in the kitchen, standing behind a trembling Maria who stood clutching tightly and stiffly at the counter in front of the sink, staring down at their breakfast plates with a blank, traumatized stare.

"Maria?" She glanced back at him with glassy eyes, seeming to not be seeing anything.

"Remi." Her voice was so quiet that Steve had to lean forward slightly to hear her clearly.

"Maria, don't," Steve quickly made his way over to her, quickly enveloping the small woman in his arms, "don't think about her, come on, let's go see a movie." He tugged her forward gently, only finding that she had rooted herself to the spot.

"Sh-she's dead."Maria stated it rather than question, staring blankly over at the tea set on the table as she dug her nails into Steve's arm.

"Yes." He answered quietly before taking her into his arms again, cradling her head against his chest.

"T-that's why Darcy seemed so damn familiar…" Her voice trembled with unshed tears, "because it was…" Then it died into a choked sob and she buried her face into his T-shirt, entering into another round of sobbing as Steve held her tightly.

"Shh, Maria. It's going to be okay. She's okay now, she even said so. Everything's alright, just let it out, your okay." The captain pressed a gentle kiss to the shaking woman's hair before sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her into the living room eventually coming to sit on the couch. And they both sat, her on his lap as he cradled her close, whispering gentle words into her ear as she shook and cried.

"Everything! H-her voice! Smile! Her laugh and her goof!" Maria's voice had turned into a hitched squeak by then, "it was all Remi!" She wailed.

For a full half hour Maria cried, and when she again quieted into choked hiccups, Steve set her back on the couch, careful to avoid bumping her injuries and walked into the kitchen where he quickly gathered her pain medications and a glass of water. Having earlier glanced at the clock, _7:00am_

"I don't know if I can do this, Steve." She whispered tiredly after swallowing down the capsules. "It's all so painful, these fears, and memories. They're so irrational, but… I just can't ignore them…" Then she leaned forward again with a tear-streaked face, slumping her upper-body tiredly on her knees, but not crying anymore, probably having cried herself out for now.

Steve almost felt like crying himself as he watched Maria suffer through her injuries, mentally and physically, the weight of all of those thoughts and nightmares seeming to be crushing her. And at that moment, he promised himself and Maria that he the one there for her every step of the way, bearing all of that weight for the both of them if he had to. Until Maria was strong enough.

"You'll make it, I'm sure of it. I'll bear it all for you if I have to, if you need me to. Right until you're strong enough." Steve replied, voicing his own thoughts, all the while hoping Maria would accept this as he remembered what a stubborn person Maria could be. Under extreme pressure or not, she was hard-headed and stubborn. She never actually asked for much help now that Steve thought back to before all of this, Maria always choosing to reject any offers and get things done on her own.

But thankfully though, Maria only nodded towards his remark and leaned into him, urging his arms up to wrap around her bony shoulders and buried her damp face into his neck. "Thank you." She breathed, nestling herself snugly into Steve.

And that's how they sat, Steve running gentle patterns on her back with his fingers until Maria's breathing eventually slowed and she slipped into sleep.

_**Alright, shoutouts?**_

_**Flaming Crow – Hehe your reviews make my day xD**_

_**Boysmom5 – Thanks! I'm being really careful with the feeling description, doing the best I can. I swear I'm editing out and fixing things every time I reread a chapter! **_

_**Till next Friday then! **_

_**Maxine**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**So I'm updating early because I won't be able to update on Friday due to my Tech help on a Superhero-Themed play! It's about the Justice League, but its fun either way! Hope you like!**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: Avengers are not mine**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 21, 2014 4:23pm**

**Captain Rogers's SHIELD Issued Apartment**

Maria woke with a start, immediately sending up a clenched fist towards the voice and hand that had woken her from her dreamless and fairly peaceful sleep.

"Whoa, Maria. It's me, Steve." The captain's gentle voice suddenly cut through her panicked and adrenaline filled thoughts, bringing Maria back to her current location. Then she opened her eyes fully and found them focused on Steve's cool, crystal blue eyes, and Maria immediately felt a soft calm wash over her at his gaze.

"Steve, I…" Maria began to apologize for her attack but was quickly cut off with a raised hand by Steve. "No Maria, you don't need to apologize. You have no fault in doing those things, its instinct, I understand." He explained as he pulled away from her and back down to the brown combat boots he was tying at his feet.

This action brought back the all too familiar sense of panic and Maria's hand shot out before she could think, clenching onto the leather jacket that Steve had slipped on. "Where are you going?!" She rasped out, trying her hardest to swallow down the panic in her voice.

Steve looked back at Maria with gentle and reassuring eyes, "Just out to get supplies at the store, Maria. I'd rather we not live off of take-out." With that, he turned back to his shoes and continued as he finished tying them, "If you're hungry there's pizza in the kitchen, Darcy ordered it for us." He rubbed at his neck sheepishly, admitting without speaking that he hadn't figured out the order-delivery system yet.

This whole thing seemed to puzzle Maria though. How could Steve already be trusting her alone in her mentally fragile state, she wasn't even sure she could trust herself yet. But she should at least try…

When she slumped back against the pillows in thought, Steve's brows furrowed into concern, "If you'd rather not be left alone, I could stay… Or call in Darcy," With the worry thick in his voice, Maria could tell the captain was regretting the decision. That was when she quickly shook her head in reassurance.

"N-no, Steve. I think I can manage," She quickly recovered, deciding to try and stand up and prove her point. And after a struggle with the comforter and her booted leg, Maria had managed to stand up next to the bed, winded, tired and wincing from her agitated injuries, but nonetheless standing and facing Steve.

The super-soldier only stared down at her with a disapproving look and crossed arms, "I'm not sure, Maria. Especially after that little show." He gestured to the disheveled sheets and her clenched fist on the edge of the nightstand. _Don't give up Maria_

"Please, Steve. I know I need help, but I also want to learn how to deal with this alone." Maria looked up pleadingly at Steve, ripping her hand off of the nightstand and balancing on her own.

"Maria…" His eyes softened into a worried expression as he reached forward and grabbed onto her elbows, steadying her as his soft, blue eyes bored into Maria's own.

"Okay, maybe I-I need a lot of help, but can we at least try this out?" Maria decided not to resist his touch, finding that she really couldn't, really didn't want to pull away… _What? _Then her cheeks flushed as she realized what she had been thinking, immediately pulling away from Steve and sitting back onto the bed.

Steve didn't say anything, only backing away from the bed with a rueful look before speaking again, "Okay, we'll try it out… Can you please eat though? You didn't eat much breakfast earlier…" His speech was slightly tensed… as though he were trying to swallow a lump.

Maria nodded once before looking away, feeling her cheeks flare again as she could almost _taste_ the tension between them, "Y-yeah. I will."

And with a nod, Steve finally made his way out of the apartment with another quiet reminder of her pain medications before he closed the door slowly, almost hesitantly.

"Okay." The lieutenant huffed out a determined breath before heading into the kitchen and pulling out the orange, prescription bottle for infection and the other for pain. _You can do this, just don't think out IT and you'll be fine. He'll probably only be gone an hour or two, you can make it._

And with a vengeance, Maria quickly swallowed down the pills and stood over the large, still-warm pizza box sitting on the counter, wondering if she could even fit one piece of it down, having lost her appetite completely after her struggle out of bed. _Steve'll like it, at least one piece._

Desperate to force herself into some kind of normality, Maria quickly pulled out a plate from the cabinet above the counter and served herself a piece of the pepperoni pizza. Then she sat down at the dining table with the remainder of her glass of water and the pizza, keeping her mind focused on the promise of being able to return as Deputy Director if she kept up her current, fairly peaceful state of mind.

"You can do this." She muttered as she chewed at the seemingly tasteless pizza and took a sip of water, "If Barton did it and came back the same asshole he used to be. Than you can do it, faster and better." She continued to distract herself with simple mind games and exercises that would distract the woman from The Ordeal as she ate. _Ring-A-Round the rosie. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall… Down…_

And then she found herself thinking of a spiral... Swirling, swirling, down, down... Kind of like that spiraling card trick that Remi used to... "No!" Maria quickly jerked out of the chair, shoving the thought out of her head as she paced into the living room in search of something else to do, managing to successfully at least leave the crust of the pizza on the plate. _Ok, Good, Focus.. Movie!_

With the thought in mind, the injured woman limped over the TV shelf and pulled out The Fox and The Hound to watch, but as she pulled the disc out of the case, the reminder occurred to Maria that she had never been able to properly clean herself up after the first incident. _If you can clean up right this time, you're making progress. _She commanded herself

And about 15 minutes later, Maria sat in Steve's shower again, broken leg propped just outside, scrubbing delicately and carefully around her bandages, cast-covered arm and shoulder brace, eventually moving down to around her bandages ribs with a bathing sponge. But this task proved to be quite difficult, since every time Maria caught even a glimpse of her injuries, a horrible pang of distress clutched at her mind, threatening to pull her under again.

"You can do this." Was all she could mutter with clenched teeth as she cleaned, keeping her gaze pointed at the ceiling as much as possible.

But every time her fingers brushed over the bruising or accidentally jostled the cuts with the sponge, she felt the increasing need to try and scrub harder at them, just to see if they would go away if she scrubbed hard enough. _You're going insane._

And pretty soon, Maria had begun to scrub her healing cuts into bleeding again, the pain medications numbing the actual pain, but not stopping the overriding sense to scrub harder. All she could hear was her hitched, panicked gasps, all she could see was the red again... So much blood... _Scrub harder!_

"You can do this." She muttered the words to herself determinedly again and finally managed to wrestle her wayward mind into focusing on the task at hand. _Clean, focus on something other than that, Steve..._

Oh how Maria wanted Steve with her at that moment, he would have known what to do, he would have picked her up and cradled her close again, protecting her from everything and everyone... _No, you can't be relying on him so much; you have to keep your distance if you want to fully recover _"You can do this."

And finally, after another half an hour, Maria had managed to finish cleaning up and washing her hair, as well as finding a quicker way to tug her clothes on over all of the casts. All of this left a good sense of accomplishment on Maria, though she had almost broken down again. _Alright, now what?_

She looked over at the pizza box again, considering it. _Should I eat more? Steve would like that_. Maria quickly dismissed the thought, her ordeal in the shower already too much for eating. So the lieutenant settled for sitting and watching The Fox and The Hound until Steve came back.

This ended up not working by a long shot. 10 minutes into the film and Maria was up and pacing/limping around the living room in claustrophobic frustration. _You are going insane, Hill, _She thought as she walked from the bedroom to the balcony door and back while circling her arms out at her sides.

_Movement, you need movement! _And it was true, every time Maria had felt too stressed at work, she'd find time and go to the gym and spar with someone, or go to the shooting range, or just run laps around the track. _None of this is going to work if you don't move! _So with that, Maria decided to try and go out for a quick walk, desperate to get into some sort of her old normality.

"You can and will do this." Maria chanted the phrase to herself over and over again as she changed unsteadily into some of her street clothes and wrote a note for Steve, telling him she had gone to the park for a walk. And with a fill of her water bottle at the sink and the Captain America sweater slipped over her head, Maria headed out of the apartment and towards the elevator, a stress unlike anything else tugging at her as she made her way out of the lobby of the building into a rather busy sidewalk full of people.

And only a short time later, Maria found herself walking faster and faster towards the park, an uncontrollable desire to get away from all of those strangers eventually driving her into a full on sprint towards the large and quiet park. _No doubt that made my ribs worse. _She winced in pain as she gasped for air and slowed into a brisk walk down a blooming cherry blossom trail in the middle of the park. Only an elderly couple was the closest to Maria at this point, and they were a few hundred yards away... _Good._

"You can do this," she murmured after another wince at her complaining ribs and sore legs. _God, Steve please just find me before I make another stupid decision. _Maria clutched at her ribs tightly as she finally made it to a lonely bench surrounded by many of the sweet-smelling, blooming trees and plopped down.

_Okay try and calm down. You have to; otherwise someone will send you to some mental help center. Just stay calm, keep your thoughts focused on one thing. _And the woman could only sit and wait for her breathing to stop burning her lungs as she clutched her uninjured leg up against her chest on the bench, biting into it desperately to try and stem the tears that had begun to pool in her eyes. _Now you're crying. You need help, find Steve!_

"Don't need him," Maria quickly shook her head in response to the little voice in her head speaking up in a worried tone. The lieutenant was determined to try and get through this with as little help as possible, determined that she could come back strong, without the dependence of a man. _Steve could be planning her demise with the rest of the Avengers anyway. He's very close with them…_

Another small voice spoke up again, the same one that had told Maria to fear Darcy back at the hospital. Maria found herself shaking her head slightly in denial of the suggestion, _No, he's been nothing but selfless and supportive. _

But as she thought about the super-soldier, Maria felt a sudden, strange and warm feeling flashing across her chest. How helpful and amazing he'd have been to her so far… His feelings for her didn't need to be announced out loud, it was all in what he had done for Maria. And she didn't deserve him at all; especially not after all of the crap she had given Steve before The Ordeal. Ignoring him, finding any kind of excuse to leave whenever he approached her, she had even gone so far as to leave to the Helicarrier the day Steve had arrived at Headquarters once. It was clear she didn't deserve this amazing, international superhero's attention, she deserved much worse than that…

_He just can't be conspiring with the Avengers. He's way above that… The Avengers…_

This subject had been causing confusion unlike any other for Maria, ever since she had woken. Before then she was absolutely sure that the team of superheroes was after her and SHIELD, bent on destroying them. Now that the drugs had been stopped being used on her, Maria had been feeling that this fear was irrational. They were a bunch of superheroes of course! There must have been something that they had done to earn the world's respect. The woman knew she should be remembering this, but all she remembered about them at this point was the heinous games they had been playing on her not even two days ago. _Horrible creatures that shouldn't be trusted! Right?_

And that park bench was where Maria sat for the next two hours, staring up at the pink-hued flowers on the trees around her, lost in her muddled thoughts, slowly beginning to sort them out… _I wonder why Steve hasn't come looking for me yet.._

Finally, a large, blur in the distance appeared in Maria's slightly fuzzy vision, eventually becoming an unimpressed Steve Rogers, dressed in jeans and his usual, brown, leather jacket.

He didn't say anything, only stopped in front of the woman on the park bench and sat down in his spot on the ground, looking up and taking in the cherry blossom trees as well. "I didn't forget about you if that's what you're wondering. I've been nearby," He spoke after a few moments, keeping his crystal, blue gaze on the serene, quiet scenery around them.

Then Maria noticed the sketchpad tucked under Steve's arm, and a wooden pencil sitting on his left ear. He had been drawing, another gentle, peaceful aspect of the soldier that Maria didn't deserve to know or ever be a part of. "You've been drawing." Was all she stated, her voice still scratchy and unfamiliar to her ears.

Steve finally looked up at Maria and smiled slightly, his other arm reaching over and pulling the sketchpad onto his lap. "Yeah. These trees are just so nice when they bloom, so peaceful. I couldn't resist," Then he smiled sheepishly up at her, "I also drew you."

She only stared at him, unable to find what to say. _Why? You shouldn't be doing that; you shouldn't be giving me so much attention. You should be shunning me, ignoring me like I did you! I deserve nothing but hate from you! That's how I'll be keeping my distance from you, so I won't get hurt! _

_ "Why do you care about me so much!?"_

Steve suddenly gave her a strange look as his face flushed a light pink, like the cherry blossoms. He opened his mouth to say something before hesitating and closing it, only staring at Maria unsurely.

That's when she realized what she had said, and immediately bit her lip, her face no doubt already a deep red. "Did I just say that?" She whispered after a long moment.

Steve smiled reassuringly again and shook his head, "No it's fine Maria. I- I can back off a little if you would like me to?" His sentence ended in more of a question than a remark.

This left Maria a little unsure suddenly. Of course she wanted to try and deal with her problem a little more independently, but she suddenly found herself not wanting Steve to back off. She suddenly found that she craved his attention and reassuring words, though she knew she didn't deserve any of it. _But you have to deal with this alone; you're not some weakling, dependent white girl. _

"N-no. I-it's… I like it. I like your help, I need it in fact." The woman spoke before she could stop herself, another hard-on blush covering cheeks as she talked.

The captain smiled unsteadily and nodded before standing up and gesturing behind him. "We should be heading back; it'll be turning dark now. Would you like to?" His question was followed by a hand held out to help her up.

This she shook her head to and pushed herself up, swaying slightly but managing to begin walking towards the entrance of the park, Steve walking close enough to catch her if she fell, but far enough away that she was comfortable. _No touching, it can start like this. Then from here I can work to keeping my distance again. I don't need or even deserve this man; he doesn't need some cold, rock-hard bitch like me._

And all the way back, Maria kept telling herself that it was for the best. Because if he continued to become so close to her, she could easily have her heart broken by this man…

_**Shoutouts? Yes!**_

_**Bellapaige88 – So it's alright! I understand enough of your reviews to say that you loved it? I'm glad that you do though(:**_

_**So here's to an early update? *raises glass* Alright wish me luck on this play. There's a lot more to do for tech than actors. Such as a blacklight-lit matrix fight, an intense motorcycle-car chase, and a lot of climbing into "Comic Book Boxes" which are basically large wooden structures made into looking like comic book pages. (pretty cool actually) Till Next week.**_

_**Maxine**_


	11. Chapter 10

_**So basically, next chapter! Hope you like?!**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or the characters. Yet…**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 25, 2014 7:23pm**

**Captain Rogers's SHIELD Issued Apartment**

"Steve, who are the Avengers?" Maria stared up at the ceiling with a slightly fearful and unsure gaze, picking absently at her shoulder brace as she lay splayed out on the couch in Steve's apartment.

Steve gave her a careful, speculative look before coming over from the kitchen where he had been retrieving Maria's medications and settled himself on the coffee table. Not daring to touch the woman as she had instructed four days ago after the two had returned from the park.

Since then, Steve's hands had been itching ever so greatly to touch the woman and hold her close. After her nightmares, or whenever she drowned into one of her flashbacks while awake, coming back with such a shock she screamed out in panic and flailed. Her body and actions screamed for Steve to reach for Maria and comfort, but the fragile woman just wouldn't let it happen.

Not once had she asked for his arms since the park. Always rejecting Steve's offers for help standing or an offered hug. But every so often those past four days, Maria would look over at Steve with a gaze full of aching need or begin to ask the captain for a hand. But she would always stop herself and look away, sinking her teeth into her lip painfully or mutter a "never mind".

"They're friends." Steve finally answered after a silence, having carefully thought about how he would answer. How could Maria already be able to ask about them? She hadn't been showing much signs of improvement since the park. "Good friends." _Though Tony could be a pain…_

"They seem to receive a lot of respect from the world." Maria began to speak, bit shuddered before continuing, "But they've hurt me so badly…"

Steve quickly shook his head in reassurance. "No. None of them have ever wanted to touch you with bad intentions." And as he finished his sentence, Steve suddenly realized that his hand had hijacked conscious thought and had begun to reach towards Maria for a gentle rub on her arm.

Maria reared back slightly with a nervous gaze at his hand but continued to speak, "Y-you weren't there Steve. I remember clearly what they did.." She had to pause then as her expression crumbled and she shut her eyes tightly and began to curl in on herself.

"You're remembering the wrong things. The Avengers were never anywhere near you to begin with," Steve began to explain the true story as he sat on his hands, gently and slowly, soothing down his voice to make up for his hands, "you see, drugs were used."

At this, the crumbling woman looked up with a puzzled expression, clutching tightly at her booted foot under the blanket that covered her. "Keep going." She whispered when Steve hesitated to elaborate.

"Well we're not sure what drugs had been used, but they were mind-altering. And they created false scenarios of other people doing those things to you… While, the basta- I mean the HYDRA agents in real life did those same things to you. Thus creating false memories and thoughts on who had done what." Steve fought to keep his composure, to keep the angry edge out of his voice for the sake of Maria.

She lay curled in a ball now, face twisted in confusion as she attempted to sort out her thoughts. "But it all seemed so vivid… it had to be them…"

The soldier swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, "It was never The Avengers, it was HYDRA. The drugs did it all." _Stay calm, Rogers._

Maria seemed to sense his reaction and changed the topic. "Why do the Avengers receive so much respect from people? What have they done?" Steve gave her a bewildered look. _She doesn't remember the Chitauri attack…_

"You don't remember?"Steve tried to understand why they had wiped that from her memory. _If they got rid of their heroics, she wouldn't have any reason to see them as actually heroes and good people. Then she'd keep her fear of them. _He shook his head in disappointment at his conclusion. _This'll be way more difficult now._

Maria only shook he head slightly and looked over at Steve with a confused glow in her silvery, blue eyes. "W-would you like to know?" He asked, unsure if Maria could take anymore explanations at this point, he wasn't even sure if he could take it himself. The lieutenant nodded slightly as she stretched out on the couch again, and made herself comfortable.

So Steve retold the entire story of how the Avengers have been assembled to fight against Loki and his forces. Having to pause every so often as Maria muttered out her questions and very little memory discoveries. But this was nonetheless progress. "Oh I remember Coulson; he was a big fan of you." She muttered with a fond smile. "Ah Fury. That asshole." She grunted with a sleepy roll of her eyes. Maria even asked Steve about herself, taking everything in carefully, thinking it all out and putting it together. The gears turning and working furiously in her head.

Finally, when Steve had finished the story, Maria sat quietly for a long moment, staring blankly at the floor. "You remember anything?" He asked tentatively after a bit.

She looked up at him then, apologetically, "Only bits and pieces… Like the live news feed we watched… And Coulson…"She didn't say anymore, only closed her eyes and shifted uncomfortably. Then Steve finally remembered what he'd been doing earlier and dashed to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry." He muttered as Maria struggled into a sitting position and took the pills and water from his hand, very careful not to touch him. She only shook her head in dismissal of his apology before her eyes began to droop after a few minutes later.

Steve stood by the couch unsure then as Maria fell asleep. _Should I wake her up? _The captain didn't want to wake the currently peaceful woman up, but he didn't want to go against his promise just to carry her to bed. She had made it very clear she didn't want to be touched and Steve had promised hands-off, not wanting to risk her recovery process.

Although in this state, Maria seemed so much... younger, relaxed, her breathing slow and deep, not hitched or whimpering. She didn't have that normal Lieutenant Hill paranoid stress factor to her eyes or the usual, thin, white-lipped set to her mouth.

But Steve finally decided to take Maria to bed anyway, considering how uncomfortable she seemed on his couch. All the while praying she wouldn't wake up. And Steve didn't know if it was the drugs or if she had let him, but Maria didn't once open her eyes.

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 26, 2014 2:43pm**

**Captain Rogers's SHIELD Issued Apartment**

"So, are you ready for that SHIELD medical check-in thing? I heard the world council wants to interrogate you themselves." Darcy spoke almost carefully as she stabbed another piece of pasta from her plate and brought it to her mouth.

Maria and Steve both grimaced in answer before Maria quickly turned her focus back to the food on her plate. "Honestly, I'm not sure if she's ready…."Steve begun hesitantly before Maria snapped her hard gaze up at him.

"I'm perfectly fine."She muttered, her hunger suddenly forgotten at this point, she only went back to picking at her food.

Darcy looked on at this exchange and raised her eyebrows at Steve who only clenched his jaw in response. _She's not ready. _Darcy thought back to the updates Steve had been sending to the Avengers on Maria.

Though the lieutenant had begun to regain her normal stoic and determined persona, she was constantly broke over again by her sudden and frequent flashbacks or panic attacks. And she still had nightmares, every single night ever since she had been rescued a week and a half ago. Darcy had even seen all of this firsthand during her visits to Steve's apartment.

Maria could be simply walking towards the kitchen for water before she would suddenly keel over onto her knees and sob out. Or while taking a nap, the woman would begin to kick and whimper in her sleep, Steve said that it would escalate most of the time to screaming at night.

_At least the injuries are beginning to heal. _Darcy thought in relief. Maria had been able to begin to take off her shoulder brace longer a few days ago and the minor cuts and bruising had begun to yellow or disappear all together.

But Steve, he wouldn't touch her. Darcy hadn't seen him lay a finger on Maria since her first visit. The captain would run over and whisper comforting things to her every time something happened, but he would not touch. There must have been some sort of agreement between them because every time Steve approached Maria, he would tense up so much; Darcy thought all of his tendons would snap. _This is bad._

"No," Darcy corrected Maria then, "You think you're okay, you say you're okay. But I've seen myself how you end up trembling on the ground every flashback. And how you almost bite your lip off every time you see I or Steve wield a knife to cut food." She snapped, sounding almost like Pepper during one of her mother hen episodes.

Maria looked up at Darcy slowly, the tension tangible as she gave her a steady, calculating gaze. And just as her head had lifted up, Maria's expression crumbled into one of despair and uncertainty as she returned to her food.

"I'll be heading off to the store to get some supplies. D-do you guys need anything?" Steve finally broke the tense silence with an awkward clank of his fork as he stood to put away his plate.

"I'll come too…" Maria's voice was faint, uncertain but sure to hear.

"Ah, Maria I don't think-" Steve was cut-off by another hard stare from her. "I won't improve if I stay hidden up."She announced, standing up slowly as well.

Darcy shrugged, "It's true, Rogers," She stood up then, talking as she walked to the kitchen to put hers and Maria's plates into the sink, "I'll come too, you could use some other clothes than sweatpants and a giant sweater." She directed the last part at Maria who frowned in response. Steve only shrugged silently in response to Darcy, giving Maria a careful look.

"I do have other clothes." She objected before pushing her chair in and walking out into the hallway towards Steve's bedroom to change out.

"Can we really be sure she's okay?" Steve muttered worriedly at Darcy once the door down the hallway shut. Darcy nodded, "You gotta give her a chance Cap. She'll be fine, you did say she didn't exactly breakdown at the park. And you'll be there, she trusts you enough that she'll just warn you if something's up."

Steve only shook his head, his expression hard. "I doubt it Darcy. She's been getting more and more distant from me… She's been pushing me away," Steve hesitated then, his expression suddenly forlorn and… almost heartbroken.

Darcy's heart went out to the captain at that moment. To go through all of this trouble to save the love of your life and have them push you away afterwards… She would have to have a talk with Maria later. "Well you did just happen to fall for probably the hardest woman to get in history."

Steve nodded with a bite of his lip and a small smile. "I have always liked a challenge." He admitted almost uncertainly.

Then Maria walked back into the kitchen again, wearing a red button down with a leather jacket and jeans and combat boots. "Okay." She breathed.

Later at the mall, Darcy had finally convinced Steve to leave her and Maria alone for a bit after a silent argument. Having to eventually pull the "looking for bras and underwear" card to get the super-soldier to awkwardly agree and scurry off in search of groceries. Just not without another careful smile at Maria first, this of which the woman had only nodded absently at. _Dammit Maria! _

Maria had only looked on at them in slight amusement, her gaze constantly flickering away to watch passer-bys warily though. Soon after they had arrived at the shopping centre, the SHIELD agent had begun to tremble with unease and distress, of course causing Steve to hover slightly.

This whatever-it-was between Steve and Maria had began to grate at Darcy's nerves quickly, watching how hard Steve tried for Maria. And then watching how Maria completely rejected his help. It burned at Darcy, and she was determined to stop it before Steve was hurt, and no one could ever live it down if Steve was hurt. In all honesty, she saw him as kind of like a puppy, he's only trying to help and comfort and Maria kept kicking him away, hurting him repeatedly. _This has got to stop._

So finally, when the two women were alone in the bra section, Darcy turned on Maria. "Now what the hell are you doing?" She hissed at her, causing the stressed woman to jump in confusion.

"You know! Steve! What are you doing?! Can't you see the man's trying to help," Darcy sorted angrily through the bras as an employee walked by, pretending to browse as she snarled at Maria, "and you're pushing him away! Hurting the poor man!" Maria only stared in dread, shaking her head slowly.

"You know he's got feelings. Huge feelings for you. Yet you don't acknowledge that and ignore him!" Darcy continued exasperation as she finally chose a black, lace bra and shoved it into Maria's hands.

Maria only shook her head again and set her gaze on the ground. "I've known that for a while."

"Then?!" Darcy replied, wanting to feel satisfied at the woman's reaction, but only finding that her anger had dissipated and was replaced by slight regret at causing her even more distress than already having begun with.

There was a silence, filled only with the occasional click of shoes across the aisle or the frustrated screech of a toddler. Maria opened her mouth and closed it several times as she pushed around in the racks before suddenly muttering out a faint answer at the sight of Steve walking up to them as Darcy picked out shirts for Maria around half an hour later.

"I just don't want to get hurt..." She breathed as Steve ambled up, giving them a smile, "And I don't want to hurt him..."

_**Okay! As usual I hope you enjoyed it BLAH BLAH BLAH, please review BLAH BLAH. And I love you all!**_

_**Maxine**_


	12. Chapter 11

_**Busy for the rest of the week, so early update.(:**_

_**So I've decided that we don't have enough Avengers in this story! So here they are! By the way, this story takes place after the events of Thor: The Dark World and before CA: TWS. So if you haven't seen The Dark World, I would skip this first part, there's a spoiler.-. Enjoy!**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the Avengers /:**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 28, 2014 6:45pm**

**Triskelion Avengers Visiting Quarters**

**"**So Lady Hill, fears us." Thor's normally booming voice, sounded crestfallen as he stated his realization.

Natasha nodded solemnly before addressing the rest of the Avengers gathered around her. "We're certain Hydra used memory-altering drugs on Maria. The way she reacted to us when we had arrived to get her out…" The red-head shook her head, her fist clenching on the marble counter she had leaned on, "her attitude clearly said there had been hallucinations of us involved, bad ones."

Until only an hour ago, Thor hadn't actually asked about what had gone down with Maria. He had said that he was too concerned with everyone's state before then, choosing to wait until later to ask.

"If Loki or my mother were still alive, they could have used their sorcery to help the Lady Hill." Thor spoke again, twisting his hands together uncomfortably as Jane settled herself next to him on the couch and placed her hand comfortingly onto his.

At this, the team before him tensed in surprise at this news. There was a long silence before Tony spoke up tentatively, "Still alive?" He asked.

Jane spoke for Thor, looking around her with glassy eyes, "I think that's a story for another day..."

"Well, I don't really think we would need them anyway," Darcy jumped up from a chair next to the couch and walked over to the bar to pour herself a drink, "Steve's been taking care of Maria's memory. She started asking about you guys a few days ago actually. She didn't remember New York so Steve's been catching her up." The brunette finished with a sip of wine.

Natasha looked down at the vodka in her hand that she'd been nursing for a while before downing it quickly and setting the cup on the counter. _Well, she's not the only one whose memory has been fucked with._

"What about the medical check-in? Is Maria ready for that? It's tomorrow." Bruce spoke up next from the stool next to Natasha, his voice full of concern.

Darcy pursed her lips, her brows furrowed uncertainly. "Well I only saw her like two days ago. She's still having panic attacks and nightmares. But the number's gone down. She even went out shopping with me and Steve too." She shrugged before continuing, "Maria was still really jumpy then."

Bruce nodded in response, fiddling with his glasses then as he leaned against the counter.

"Coulson and Fury made sure that only Hill's doctor is going to be performing the tests on her." Clint leaned forward in the chair he had brought from the dining room, "So let's be thankful for that. They're both familiar with each other."

Everyone nodded in relief before JARVIS's voice suddenly rose from the ceiling, "Incoming call from Captain Rogers." Tony jumped up suddenly, "Answer it." He called back towards the AI.

Natasha looked around in slight confusion as to where the speakers or microphone for JARVIS were even situated. No one ever could figure that one out anyway, but it had become a habit for the team to look around wearily for the system every time it spoke.

_"Hello?" _ Steve's voice filled to room unsurely and distantly, as if he was still unsure how to work his flip phone. _Oldest device around and he still can't work that. Poor man._

"Captain." Natasha spoke up first in greeting. "We're all here." Everyone mumbled a greeting.

_ "Yeah. Hi." _The captain's voice sounded flat and tired. _"Just thought you guys could use an update?"_

"What's up?" Clint spoke up then, rocking back perilously in his chair, but not falling.

_"Erm, well she remembered Remi again, but she didn't breakdown," His_ voice became choked and tight. Natasha sighed at the mention of the woman's name. Remi had been a great agent; always managing to add a light mood to any mission they had been on together while still getting her side of it done quickly and efficiently. Natasha had actually seen her as a good friend.

There was a visible tense at Remi's name from the team as well. Everyone had known her well, too. Clint and the agent had become prank buddies while also drinking buddies with Tony. Thor and Remi became friends through sharing their own fighting techniques with each other and sparring frequently. Bruce had been the one to introduce Remi to science at one point, ever since then, he and Tony had been joined by her during many of their all-night science/work sessions in the laboratory at the Tower.

Remi had actually been one of the first agents other than Maria and Coulson to welcome Natasha warmly into SHIELD. So naturally, they had become close.

"Well that's good?" Tony replied, his statement sounding more like a question instead.

"_She used that breathing technique you had taught her, Bruce. She bit her lip into bleeding but she was okay afterwards. She seems to be remembering you guys in better ways." _Steve continued with an audible sigh of relief afterwards.

"And the medical check-up?" Bruce replied, staring at the TV that was currently playing America's Funniest Home Videos on mute. There was a short silence on the other side before Steve finally answered. _"We haven't exactly discussed it, but she claimed she was ready for it a few days ago. But I'm willing to bet she'll make it through if it's only going to be Dr. Arlington doing the testing. Fury contacted earlier, to tell me about it." _Bruce nodded silently, his brown gaze still fixed on the screen.

"You need us anywhere nearby? Surveillance? Security? Coffee?" Clint spoke again, leaning forward and setting all four chair legs on the ground again.

Steve huffed on the other end, _"I need you guys to go back to New York and rest. You're not exactly needed as of yet. Or even wanted by Maria."_ His voice oozed exasperation as he spoke.

"Hey! We're not leaving until Maria is back on duty and healed! She may not think so, but she's part of the Avengers family. And in the family, we don't leave each other in a time of need." Tony called out in response to Steve from the bar where he stood refilling his scotch.

Natasha couldn't help but agree with the man. Sure they couldn't really get it together the first time they met, but The Avengers quickly became close after the Chitauri attack. Grown into some sort of peculiar but strong family. Close enough that one time when Darcy had accidentally locked herself out of Jane's lab in New Mexico, Clint had flown the quinjet out from New York across the country to lend her his own key.

And this situation with Maria was no different. They weren't leaving until they were sure their friend and liaison was well again.

"_Well if you're gonna stay, I suggest you guys at least enjoy yourselves. There's someone I met a few months back, we go running together every once in a while. His name's Sam Wilson, he could probably show you guys around D.C. if you'd like." _Steve replied with another huff before suggesting his friend.

The name jogged Natasha's memory quickly and she recognized it as the man she'd met a few years back for a military involved operation. He had been a part of the Falcon Project, which had proved to be incredibly useful during their mission. _Interesting man._

"Oh I know him. We worked together a few years back. I've still got his contact." The redhead spoke up with a quick wave of her phone towards everyone before beginning to search for Sam.

_"Right. Well Maria should be getting out of the shower right about now. I'll call after the check-in." _With a final goodbye, Steve hung up, leaving The Avengers to their own conversations again.

"Damn!" Clint suddenly exclaimed with a snap of his fingers, catching the attention of everyone else.

"What?" Jane asked from the couch.

"Forgot to remind him of his M&M promise." The archer muttered in response, earning a slap onto his head from Natasha.

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 28, 2014 7:05pm**

**Captain Rogers's SHIELD Issued Apartment**

Only moments after Steve hung up, he reached over to his old record player again and turned up the volume on it. Then he leaned back in his chair in the corner of the living room, closing his eyes in content as he listened to "Trouble Man", one of his favorites.

And as the captain was dozing off, there was a series of light footsteps coming from the hallway, signaling Maria's return from changing in the bedroom after her shower.

"Hey." Steve straightened up slightly and gave Maria a smile as she stood awkwardly by the entrance to the living room.

"Hi." She replied with an attempt to smile of her own, which only ended in a slight cough and a nervous gaze down at her feet.

"You alright, Maria?" Steve leaned forward in his chair, ready to walk over and envelope the woman into his arms before he remembered her little one-sided agreement with him. His hands ached again and Steve had to clench them into the arms of the chair.

"I'm scared." Her voice became faint, almost unable to be heard if she were to be speaking to another normal human being.

Steve nodded in response, understanding her meaning before she explained it. He knew she'd show her true feelings about the testing sooner or later.

"You'll do fine. You're notorious for your quick recoveries, Maria. You and Natasha both. I'm surprised you're not a super-soldier yourself." Steve was quick to reassure Maria, adding in something to lighten the mood. This earned him a small smile from her as she leaned into the door frame.

"But what if…" She began to speak but seemed to think better of it and shook her head instead, looking down at her feet again.

"We don't need to talk about it." He finally stood up from his chair to stretch his legs just as "What a Wonderful World" began to play. This suddenly gave the super-soldier a bold idea and he decided to act on it before Maria decided to turn in for the night.

"Dance with me?" Steve reached his hand out slowly towards her, wearing his most convincing face.

She only stared at him with an almost panicked expression before it turned into one of warning. "T-that's not a good idea, Steve."

"Why?" Steve reared back then, crossing his arms tightly and staring Maria down with a serious gaze. "Was there something that I did to have you push me away so much?" Finally, he decided to confront Maria about it. It had not only been worsening her stress, but getting to the point of hurting Steve.

He thought at first that maybe a little space was good. But when it had gone so far as to her flinching away at his presence, it had begun to take a toll on both of them. To be trying to help and only be rejected even more had grown tiresome. Lack of human contact after an ordeal like Maria's… it did things to people, Steve would know after 70 years in ice.

"I-it's just… It won't work in the end, Steve. You… You deserve someone better.." Maria answered in a faint mutter with another glance at the ground.

Steve only sighed, deciding to let it go for now. He knew her answer wasn't the whole truth just by watching her reaction to his question. But he nonetheless decided against pushing Maria into talking.

"Okay. Okay, I'll leave it alone," He held up his hands in surrender before stepping towards Maria slightly, "I'll leave _you_ alone if I can have at least one dance." As he reached his hand out again, he took note of the fleeting flash of want cross Maria's eyes before she slowly and hesitantly nodded.

With a grin, Steve stepped forward, enveloping Maria's wrist in his larger hand and pulling her thin body into his embrace. There was a sharp inhale of breath from her as she caught herself against his chest, and felt his arms wrap around her waist loosely.

And slowly, but surely, the captain began to move them in slow circles around the living room in time with "What a Wonderful World".

"I-I'm not a dancer." She muttered, her gaze fixed on her hands that had somehow ended up splayed against Steve's chest to steady herself.

He shook his head in agreement, "Neither am I. I was actually promised a dance session with a woman a few 70 years ago. Of course it never happened." As he spoke, Steve's mind was overloaded with Peggy.

He remembered about a month ago when he had gone to visit Peggy, and it had thankfully been during one of her bouts of being able to remember everything from the war. He had told her about Maria. About basically everything he felt for her, and Peggy had sat smiling through it all.

And when Steve was done, the older woman had turned and given him a loving stare and whispered, "Dance with her."

Maria tensed against him at his mention of Peggy, but stayed close to him nonetheless. The soldier was enjoying himself, not having Maria this close in weeks had been practically eating at him. Now finally…

But of course, the song had to end too soon, leaving the two standing silently in the middle of the living room in each other's arms.

Maria didn't seem to notice the end of the song and still kept her distanced stare at her hands, the only movement coming from her was her breathing. "Maria…?" Steve whispered lightly down at the woman, nudging her gently with his arm to get her attention.

He wasn't sure if she wanted to dance anymore. So he hadn't moved when the next song began to play, for fear that it'd be too much.

"Huh." Then Maria snapped out her trance with a curl of her hands into fists and a light shove away from Steve and towards the hallway. "Um. Yeah. I'm going to sleep." She muttered with a guilty look Steve's way and a hasty limp into the bedroom.

He looked on with a tired expression. _Well, that's it Rogers. You got what you wanted, now she gets space. A lot. Keep your distance and no touching. _

And later, the guilt and need almost engulfed Maria into another attack as she silently watched Steve enter the bedroom and deliberately, out of norm, lie down facing completely away from her. _Stupid!_

_**So dat dance scene tho… it was bad, I rewrote it like 50 times before it finally worked out for me.-. But I hope you liked it? **_

_**Shoutouts!**_

_**Devony – I like that Tony and Maria idea! I'll try to work that in. I'm glad you love it(:**_

_**Still Waters – Thank you! I've always liked Darcy anyway and she kinda resembled Remi, so I thought why not add her into the story? I'm looking forward to more from you too btw!(:**_

_**Captainhillshipper – No problem! And the play was pretty fun, it went well(:**_

_**Maxine**_


	13. Chapter 12

_**In case any of you were wondering about the mystery of my One-Shot: Confused. No I'm not going to be continuing it and I'm going to be erasing it soon, but not to worry! It isn't the only time you'll be seeing it, I've actually got a plan on what to do with it…**_

_**I've been trying to avoid this chapter for a while since I haven't even had the slightest clue on how to go about it. But I finally got my s**t together and wrote it… and re-wrote it… several times…**_

_**Maxine**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or any Marvel characters, only mine**_

_**PS: IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!**_

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 29, 2014 12:24pm**

**SHIELD Triskelion Building**

Maria had never liked doctors. Sure they were there to help and mend and fix, but she never could or ever will be able to shake that uneasiness she would get whenever near a hospital. All of it always threw the lieutenants thoughts back to those unpleasant times when she was younger.

Constantly having to lie about the many "playground injuries" truly received from a drunken daddy hours or even days before the visit. And always to daddy's delight, those stupid people would actually believe his facades and her words every time.. So naturally, Maria had grown up with a strong distrust to doctors.

But Maria had learned to accept that she would inevitably end up in doctor's offices throughout her life anyway. Even a bit more than necessary with her job.

And here the woman sat in one now, waiting in an overly-cushioned chair for Dr. Arlington with Logan Garcia seated awkwardly to her left in another.

Steve and Maria had arrived at the Triskelion around two hours ago to the waiting party of Nick Fury, Phil Coulson and Logan Garcia. The younger woman having taken over for Maria during her absence had actually been doing quite well according to Fury during one of his SHIELD updates. Maria took a mental note to thank Garcia later and offer her promotion to Level 8 clearance. _She could be useful later, and I owe her anyway._

Phil had welcomed Maria with a rub on her back and a Sleeping Beauty tease while Fury had only given her a small smile and a nod. Steve watching her reactions carefully the entire time.

The ride to the Triskelion had been tense and quiet. Steve and Maria had both sat in the back of SHIELD transport car, the super-soldier sticking right to his side of the seat, but nonetheless watching Maria intently and reassuringly. And while Maria constantly fought herself to ignore Steve's approaches, his gaze this time had actually brought stability and comfort to the nervous woman. This she allowed for once. _I need it._

Steve didn't leave her side until after a lengthy, update meeting with Coulson and Fury when Garcia led Maria away to the medical wing for the testing. This had actually been a challenge in itself. The lieutenant finally noticed how much she had depended on Steve these past few weeks, even if she had been rejecting his help, the soldiers presence had been nonetheless comforting. A promise of security and reassurance.

"I've got to meet with a few people. See you afterwards, Lieutenant." Steve had muttered with a forced Captain America business face when they had stood to leave. He had left the conference room without a backwards glance.

Maria looked down at her chewed up fingernails, noticing how she had chewed her index into bleeding. Her chest was already beginning to feel tight, the room seeming to shrink around her. _You have to stop. Focus. _She knew this kind of behavior wouldn't get her anywhere, she had to calm down. The results of these tests would determine her release to work. If she didn't have herself in check first, it wouldn't end well. _Got to get back to work._

So instead of focusing on her inner turmoil, Maria focused her attention on the awkward attempts at conversation being staged currently by Logan Garcia. The hazel-eyed woman sat politely in her chair, her gaze on the rug situated on the ground in front of them, talking about the current gossip running through the building. But she wasn't talking like how normal rumor-spreaders would; she spoke almost reassuringly, as if she was trying to distract Maria from her worries. "So apparently his Level 6 status had been reduced to Level 3 because of it." Logan spoke steadily, finishing her current story with a shrug.

"Ready Lieutenant?" A voice suddenly spoke up from across the waiting room. The two women looked up to see Dr. Kristy Arlington poking her head through the door to the medical labs with an expectant look.

Maria quickly jumped up from her chair and nodded, followed by Logan standing up slowly next to her. "Breathe." She murmured quietly before beginning to make her way towards the exit, clutching her tablet closely.

_You can do this._ She thought over and over as she followed Arlington and another short, blonde nurse into one of the examination rooms. On the way there though, Maria noticed that any and all male personnel had been removed from the premises. All she could see were female nurses and doctors milling about. _It only seems to be precautions with SHIELD these days._

"Medications working well?" The doctor spoke up from the sink in the corner of the room as the nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Maria's uninjured arm. "Um, yeah." She replied, steady as she could.

"Perfect numbers." The nurse smiled only a few moments later, slipping the cuff off. Arlington rolled over then on a wheeled-stool, stethoscope and flashlights in hand for the usual check-up ritual. "You been taking off that brace? It's probably healed, but you should keep it just in case." Maria was thankful for the doctor's professionalism, not a single emotion slipped through her face, not a single mention on The Ordeal.

"Probably same with that leg, we could change you into a brace now," She continued with a tap of her hammer into Maria's knees.

Now this type of thing Maria was okay with. The usual small, checkings and needs of a doctoral check-in. What really worried Maria was what the X-rays and scans would find… Disease? Infection? Or… _No_. She tore her thoughts away from the worries quickly, instead focusing on the questions that the woman in front of her was asking. Dwelling on heavy subjects like that would not help with her recovery.

"Everything seems to be in check," Kristy confirmed before her voice suddenly took on a careful tone as she talked; "Now we've got to take the blood samples…"

The lieutenant's breathe hitched in her throat then, her thoughts suddenly shoved back into that dark, metallic-smelling room where needles meant hell in her own mind. She could only nod then as Kristy stood to prepare the needle. _It's nothing, nothing. No drugs, just taking a little blood._

The doctor returned with the tourniquet and needle moments later, she hesitated a second to gauge Maria's state. "Can you do this?" She asked. Maria nodded fiercely in response, drawing out her right arm and allowing the woman to wrap her arm. _Breath._ She followed Logan's suggestion and closed her eyes, squeezing them together and breathing in slowly when she felt the needle enter her arm. _Breathe._

"Done." Kristy breathed a few minutes later, which felt like hours to Maria. "Shall we go to the scans now? Or do you want a break?" She asked, handing Maria an orange juice bottle for nausea.

"No, let's do it." Maria shook her head, standing up with a sip of her juice and a nervous tug at the patient scrubs that had been given for her to wear.

The rest of the examination went well; the female personnel were polite and efficient. Maria only focused on her breathing and listening to instructions, doing everything as correctly as possible, hopeful it would be over soon.

About an hour and a half later, Maria found herself back in the exam room, finished with all of her tests and back into her own civilian clothes.

"So you don't need the shoulder brace anymore. And you'll have to wear the leg brace and arm cast for a few more weeks. We'll be able to see your ribs and internal injuries a lot better once the X-rays are prepared." The doctor explained as she handed Maria's leg boot to a nurse who walked out of the room quickly to put it away.

"We'll discuss your exam results in about a week. After that, they'll be kept as hard copies and put away for emergency access only," Kristy looked up from her note-taking with a hard gaze at Maria, "But even if you pass with flying colors, Hill. They're still going to assign you a therapist, who is basically the only person other than me that has the power to allow you to work again." She held up her hand quickly as Maria began to protest.

"Fury, me, and you all know that you won't be coughing anything up to anyone. But we know you can become perfectly capable without a therapist. So I'll be working with Fury to assign someone flexible enough for you." She shrugged at Maria's confused reaction, "Alexander Pierce and the World Security Council don't want some mentally weak woman as second-in-command of SHIELD. They're making it mandatory for you to attend a therapist." Kristy finished.

"Oh. Thank you." Maria nodded thankfully at the doctor before standing up from the exam table and taking her new prescription from the returned nurse. With a mumbled farewell and a tight clutch at the paper bag, Maria quickly made her way out of the medical wing.

Agent Garcia met her outside of the entrance doors. "Lunch? It's 2:30 so people have already left back to work. Mess Hall's emptier."

Maria nodded, "Where's Rogers?"

"Busy checking up with some people. He said he'd look for you as soon as he was done to leave." She replied as they walked down the corridor to the Mess Hall. "Coulson's joining us too."

Maria was grateful for Phil's presence; she didn't know Logan well enough to not have an awkward conversation with her.

"And so Princess Maria returns." Phil greeted later with a clank of his food tray at the table that the two women sat at. Maria rolled her eyes, still grateful nonetheless for Phil's familiarity. "How'd it go?"

She shrugged, "Fast, no complications." Phil nodded, seeming to accept that notion. But only someone who'd known him long enough like Maria could notice that miniscule flicker of disbelief flash through his eyes before he looked down at his food again.

"Yeah, but she was shaking like a leaf before going in." Logan added with a strangely familiar teasing smile. Maria found her gaze frozen on her face, taking in the pale blue, almost grey eyes and crooked smile. _Remi?_ That was the moment that Maria finally remembered that Logan and Remi were related… _Weren't they… cousins? No, half sisters._ They were half sisters.

And just as suddenly as she had remembered, the lieutenant found herself beginning to lose it. Her mind suddenly filled with visions of Remi, of her laughing so hard she had burst a vessel in her eyes that one day at a café in New York… Of her kneeled in front of Maria, smiling reassuringly just before a bullet was put into her head. Of the time that she had accidentally tripped into a wall during a game of laser tag in London, causing her nose to bleed. _"It's okay." _

"Noo…" She quickly leaned forward and rested her head in the cradle of her arms on the table. The Mess Hall had begun to spin and squeeze in on her. _Get a grip, Hill. Breathe. Think of something else! _

Then Maria heard Phil's concerned voice break through the haze in her mind. "Maria? You okay?"

"Yess. I- Just… Wait." She rasped into the table, wrapping her hand tightly around the opposite arm and digging her nails into it, making sure to feel them through her soft, grey sweater. Using the pain as something else to focus on, to throw herself back into reality. _Not here! Especially not here! They'll see you as weak. Not let you return to work. Focus!_

For several minutes, Maria stayed like that, clutching at her arms and taking the most even breaths she could. Phil and Logan left her alone, staying silent and giving her space and patience.

Finally when she lifted her head, she noticed her eyes had begun to sting with unshed tears. _I have to get out of here. _"I'll be in my quarters." She muttered as she unsteadily stood up. "Rogers can find me there when he's done with his business." She surprised herself with the steadiness in her tone.

Phil and Logan only nodded silently and let her go. Logan with a slightly rueful gaze at her apple.

**Washington D.C., Maryland**

**May 29, 2014 4:06pm**

**Deputy Director Hill's Quarters**

The moment that Tony finally allowed Steve to go find Maria, the super-soldier had practically dashed out of the room and out to her quarters.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy seeing his teammates after so long; it was just that Phil had come in earlier to tell him that Maria had wanted to leave. But there was a quiet and strained demeanor to his tone that gave Steve the hint that something was wrong.

So he tried to excuse himself. But Tony of course wouldn't let that happen, or even Natasha. She had sat him down in her quarters at one point to talk about him and Maria, effectively become agitated with Maria when Steve had explained her reactions towards his attempts at help. And Tony had planned an Avenger Lunch Party since it had been a while since the entire team had been assembled. Thor had of course brought the Asgardian mead along with him and Darcy and Clint had begun the first rounds of drinking games, refereed by Natasha. Tony provided the drinks and food. All the while, Steve and Bruce had sat back and watched until Bruce decided to help sneak Steve out unnoticed.

As he had walked down the corridor of the rooming facility, headed to the higher ranking officer sector, Steve had gotten a lot of strange looks from agents milling about. And even comments about the noise level coming from the Avengers rooming wing. _Have a talk with Tony about his parties later._

When Maria had opened the door to Steve, it was obvious that she had been crying. Her eyes were glassy and red, her cheeks puffed out slightly and she picked absently at the seams of her grey sweater. But she nonetheless put on her "Lieutenant Maria Hill" expression and spoke in her stony, no nonsense voice. "Let's go, Rogers."

Steve had quickly obliged, sending for an escort to his apartment, careful not to ask Maria about anything until they were back.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He carefully asked later in his apartment. He led them into the living room to talk on the couch, but they had ended up staring at each other silently still standing.

There was a long, unsure silence before Maria's stony resolve suddenly crumbled into one of anguish and she flung herself into Steve's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on like her life depended on it. The sobs she began to let out shaking her body like a leaf.

Steve froze in shock, unsure of whether or not to respond to her touch or not. But Maria's distress quickly got to him anyway, her cries were too ragged and loud, not Maria Hill at all. And it made him feel fiercely protective.

So he held her close, running his hands through her hair in reassurance and cradling her smaller body against his. Providing all of the comfort and security he could.

_**IMPORTANT READ BELOW**_

_**I've been extremely busy with end-of-school stuff, family, trips/vacations, and my drama theater obsession, and as a result, I've gotten pretty behind on my writing. **__**So I have decided that I'll be putting I Need a Hero on hold until further notice.**__** *ducks behind wall* Now don't kill me, this isn't the end, I'll begin updating again once I have enough time to start working on chapters, which will hopefully be soon. Thanks for your patience, this'll be the last chapter for a while, but expect a handful of random one-shots since those will probably be the only kind of writing thing I'll have time for. Love you guys, thanks! **_

_**Maxine**_


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